Single Mom Adopts Child She Will Raise With Her Best Friend and Her Husband

single mom single mom adopts child co-parenting fostering foster parents adoption

By Lili Scott , Parent Herald May 19, 08:08 pm

Photo: (Photo : LOIC VENANCE/AFP via Getty Images)

An Oregon-based single mom adopts a two-year-old child whom she will raise with her best friend and her husband. The unique family dynamics might seem chaotic, but best pals Caitlin Asher and Amanda Nine have planned this for years.

Caitlin and Amanda struck a friendship in high school and remained close despite their separate lives in college. When Amanda returned to her hometown, she and Caitlin further bonded over their plans to foster a child together.

So in July 2019, the best friends applied for a license to foster a child together, which was granted six months later. At that time of the application, Amanda was also dating Chris Oelrich.

Speaking with Oregon Live, Amanda said that she was upfront with Chris about her plans with Caitlin to become foster parents. They were also going to announce this to their family. Chris said that he was impressed by the heart of Amanda, the girl he would soon marry, and her best friend.

Having Bella During the Pandemic

By March 2020, Caitlin and Amanda were notified of Bella, the baby they could foster, and she has been with her "moms" for the last two years. One of the goals of fostering is to facilitate the unification with the child's biological family. However, since they couldn't find anyone in Bella's next of kin who would want to take her in, Caitlin, Amanda, and Chris took the responsibility of caring for the baby.

When Bella was five months old, the court asked Caitlin and Amanda about their plans, and they both agreed that they were going to be the child's adoptive placement. Amanda, however, had to consult with Chris. She wanted to know if this was a deal-breaker for him. Fortunately, Chris was on board with the idea.

"We had goals in life that didn't include co-parenting a child," Caitlin said. "But we are co-parenting a child now, and it looks great."

Bella was legally adopted by Caitlin and Amanda in March 2022, after the best friends hurdled the adoption process in Oregon, which includes training and home study, per the Oregon.Gov. In that same month, the trio decided to buy a house together to live as a family. It would be a house where the couple would have their own space, but it will also have areas for the four of them to share.

Meanwhile, Amanda and Chris are set to marry in September after they got engaged at the end of 2021. Eventually, Caitlin will also find a life partner who will join the co-parenting trio. Chris explained it best when he said that Bella would have two sets of parents, as do many kids in America, except that her moms and dads are not divorced couples.

Caitlin's Heartfelt Message About Fostering, Adopting

Before adopting Bella, Caitlin and Amanda were foster moms to at least a dozen babies who have stayed with them for days. In a piece on Love What Matters, Caitlin described the experience of their short life with a foster son, whose goodbye was "unexpected, fast, and brutal."

In fostering kids, Caitlin also watched her best friend blossom into a mom. She said that their platonic parenting situation might sound like a television sitcom, but it's something she hopes every woman would experience with their best friend.

The single mom said that she never imagined her life to turn out this way, but it's a life full of love for the children. At the same time, she's also filled with grief for the kids and their biological parents.