3 Tips to Help Separate Amicably From Your Spouse

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People always have strong feelings whenever a marriage ends. Occasionally, the split is genuinely mutual, and both partners feel a blend of relief to exit something that wasn't working for them and sadness for what could have been. More often, the decision rests mainly with one person, which can result in the other partner feeling intense anger or grief.

Whether you initiated the divorce or it's happening to you, here are a few tips to help make the split more amicable.

1. Children Come First

A divorce is very different when children are involved. Leaders in the industry, like Tailor Law divorce lawyers in Toronto, work hard to protect your assets and custody rights, but they'll also pursue your goals holistically.

They don't see the goal in narrow terms. Instead, they work towards the larger things you ultimately want—what's best for your children. You can't control how your spouse will respond to the news of the divorce, but when they see that you and your lawyer are angling for what benefits the kids most, hopefully, that will lower the temperature and help end the divorce proceedings quicker.

When your ex-partner sees you trying to be a responsible co-parent, it should make the split more amicable.

2. Get Your Financial Affairs in Order

In a divorce, often the most contentious things involve money and property. Any delays or obstacles relating to these things can lengthen the divorce proceedings and worsen relationships.

Show initiative here by being organized and prompt. Gather any paperwork you have related to property or title deeds, stocks or other investments, bank accounts, or anything that pertains to the asset split.

Your ex-partner may suspect you're reluctant to be forthcoming with finances, and seeing that you're willing to collaborate can really improve the mood.

3. Love What Was, No Hard Feelings

Marriage can be a very difficult thing. Intertwining your life with somebody else's is never easy, whoever they are. Ideally, you can look back on the time fondly, even if the memories contain elements of regret and sadness. Maybe it didn't pan out the way you initially hoped and expected it would, but ideally, you can now find a brighter vantage from which to look back on your marriage.

If one partner is violent or horrible to the other, the other will rightfully be relieved and happy that it's over. Barring that, hopefully, you can look back and be grateful for the pleasant time you had with somebody else. It's an accomplishment! That person must have something still in them that attracted you in the first place, right?

If you're not in love with them anymore, you can at least choose to respect them, look forward in your life, and wish nothing but the best for you both.

"All's fair in love and war" isn't exactly true, but it's a general comment that speaks to how hard it is to do what's right when really strong feelings are involved. Keep the above tips in mind, and they should help to guide you in making a more peaceful, gentle separation.