5 Things to Never Say to a Person Struggling With Infertility

infertility problem infertility pregnancy complications fertility struggles

By Danielle Ong , Parent Herald Sep 28, 08:02 am

Photo: (Photo : GUILLAUME SOUVANT/AFP via Getty Images)

Infertility is a tough journey for many couples. Infertility causes stress and heartache. This is why it is important to be kind in your words.

Knowing what not to say makes a difference. Your words can support someone struggling to get pregnant.

This article will share five things you should avoid saying to someone facing fertility issues.

"Try IVF"

IVF is an incredibly invasive option. It is also complex and costly. Often, doctors only suggest IVF as the last resort. This is unless there is a medical reason to skip straight to IVF.

IVF has a 60% live birth rate per embryo transfer. However, this is only at high-quality centers. Other clinics will only transfer one embryo at a time. This reduces the risk of multiples.

There is no 100% guarantee that IVF will work.

"Maybe You Are Not Meant To Be a Parent"

Avoid this altogether. It is simply cruel and insensitive.

"Take One of Mine"

Do not jokingly offer one of your own children. This makes light of their struggle. It could also make them feel like family does not matter.

"Just Adopt"

Adopting is easy, in thought. But it takes a lot in terms of finances and emotions. There are also logistics involved in adopting.

"It Happens for a Reason"

This is not a comforting phrase. It minimizes a person's struggle to conceive. Some people would also believe they are not meant to be parents.

There are many reasons for infertility. Medical reasons in women include:

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
Hypothalamic Dysfunction
Primary Ovarian Insufficiency
Fallopian Tube Damage
Uterine or Cervical Polyps
Endometriosis

In men, medical reasons include:

Low sperm count or motility
Premature ejaculation
Poor sperm quality

What You Can Say Instead

Supporting someone struggling with infertility can begin by saying the right things. Here are some examples:

"I am here for you".
"I am here to listen".
"You will be a wonderful parent".
"I am hoping this works out for you".