Choosing a college is a challenging task, as it includes a lot of planning and preparation. Sometimes it might feel even too overwhelming.
It is only natural that parents want to help their children to make this decision. However, help might take different forms.
Of course, parents have a say in the process of educational institution selection as they are usually the ones to make a great deal of college tuition payments. It is excellent to help the children with the choice, but the parents should not choose the college instead of their kids, and here are five reasons why.
Control Is Your Worst Enemy
Any parent should remember the following - you cannot control everything in children's lives. Of course, the idea behind might be good - to eliminate risks, to help have the best experience. But over-controlling one's life is always wrong. And, saying honestly, it is impossible.
Your kids are individuals with their own desires, motivation, emotions, and personalities. You cannot be there for them forever, protecting from every possible issue. Ultimately, such an approach will not help them become responsible adults.
It is good to provide help and assistance, like find a service to write any paper for students when needed, help with logistics, care for them emotionally. But the help should end in support and being there for them when they need it.
The Wishes and Desires Differ
Of course, parents' ideas are usually coming from the best intentions. They are looking for a school and significant that will provide a good future for their kids, whether it is a well-paid and respectable job or an Ivy League school.
The intentions are great, but they may not correspond to kids' wishes. Resulting in high dropout rates serve as the best proof. Students attending the university that doesn't fit their interests are not motivated. They might experience much stress and see no future in this particular field.
Even if they eventually graduate, youngsters might not feel happy working in the field. Therefore, they will not be successful in it. After all, the main thing is to help your child find their passion and be happy.
College Is Not for All
The college might not be suitable for some kids. Such institutions aim at attracting as many students as they can. Sometimes they do not elaborate on what is expected from newcomers. For example, some schools encourage initiative and high leadership skills.
There, students are expected to be very competitive, outgoing, and competitive in all projects. This may not be suitable for everyone.
If your kid is rather shy or not very competitive, any college might be not the best place for such a person. It is essential not to try to put your child into circumstances that will result in additional stress and frustration.
It is essential to listen to your children and what they expect from college. After all, they are going to live and study there for four or even six years.
The good idea would be to go the real place for a visiting trip and see the campus together with a kid. Ask questions, try to figure out whether the institution is a suitable one for your kid. Sometimes the best college might become the worst place for an individual that just doesn't fit in.
Let Your Kids Be Independent
Children should learn to make crucial decisions in their lives. Education is one of the essential steps, and it is important to take responsibility for the choice one makes.
Good parenting is to listen a lot, but saying not much, as a child, should come to one's conclusions. After all, this is their first probably life-changing decision, and taking such an opportunity away may lead to an awful situation. In addition to the possible inability to make other essential decisions in the future, the blame may also occur.
How can a child learn to take responsibility for one's life you fail to provide them with such an opportunity? Of course, a parent can make suggestions, ask questions to help figure out the interests and inspirations. But choosing the college by yourself instead of a kid is a bad idea.
Even if a child will be disappointed in the choice afterward, it is their own decision, and they can take something out of it. But if it wasn't their decision in the first place, they will blame parents, and this can lead to dramatic conflict.
No One Is Objective
Your decision is not always objective. Let's face it; we are all human beings driven by our struggles. You might think that as a parent, you know better. And most of the time, you are probably right.
But when it comes to choosing a college and studying process itself, it is not always the case. Try to investigate your inner motivation for forcing the college selection.
Maybe you suggest the school you wanted to attend and didn't have the opportunity? Or you are trying to achieve things through your kids? Sometimes our motivation is not coming for an objectively good place, and it is normal.
It is essential to take a step back and try not to think about what is best for your kids but ask them about it. After all, communication is everything.
Final Words
It is good to help your kids with their journey and support them on the way. Try to prepare children emotionally and provide any support they ask for. This usually concerns transportation, campus visits, learning about tuition and loans as well as scholarship possibilities.
There are lots to do and a long way ahead. But do not force the kid to opt for your decision. Just be there for them.
