In 2016 the Surgeon General estimated that one in seven adults will face a substance addiction. Addicts have families, most of whom do not understand how to handle their loved one and his or her addiction. If you're parents of addicts, read on to learn about what you should and should not do to help your loved one.
Truths for Parents of Addicts
Before you drag your adult child to inpatient drug rehab, realize some essential truths about yourself.
Perfect parents do not exist.
All parents struggle with the guilt of some sort for their adult children's behavior.
Parents of addicts are especially vulnerable to guilt trips.
But truthfully, all parents have made mistakes. Realizing that from the start can anchor your decisions.
Secondly, realize that our adult child is an adult. They have all the power to make good decisions as an adult. Their brains are fully developed.
So your children are responsible for their decisions. You are not responsible at this point.
Offer the Right Help
Begin by offering as much help for your child as you can reasonably afford. Do not put yourself or family at home in debt and do not give money that will lead to further problems.
Instead of offering money, offer to pay for a utility bill or bring a bag of groceries when you visit.
Find out what local services can help your child. Then talk to your child about those services. Offer to drive them to a clinic or rehab center.
If your child refuses, realize you cannot help someone who does not want help.
Love Your Child
Love looks different to different people. With a child addict, parents must find the strength to love their child enough to do hard things.
You may need to walk away from the addict and hold him accountable for his behavior.
Focus on clear communication with your child. Focus especially on active listening, on staying engaged and focused as you listen.
Display acceptance and understanding of your child by listening carefully. Focus on being kind and respectful as you listen. Focus on the good in your child.
No one knows a person better than a parent who knows his or her child. So focus on the good that you know this child has.
Do not take an addict's actions personally.
Addicts are not trying to get back at their parents with their addiction. They're fighting a battle against a substance that has a tight grip on them. Ultimately, they're out of control, so do not take their behavior personally.
Be Kind
Be kind to your family and yourself by caring well for yourself in this process.
Protect yourself and protect your family. Addicts can do things dangerous in their lowest moments of desperation. They'll do things they would not do in their normal state of mind such as stealing from or harming loved ones.
Stay Strong
Nothing tests the strength of a parent-child relationship more than addiction. But parents of addicts can take specific steps to help their children and care for themselves at the same time.
If you're a parent of an addict, stay strong. Find a friend who will listen and respond with truth.
For more articles for your family's wellness, keep visiting our blog.
