There's no doubt that exploring the world of parenting, especially for new parents, can be an overwhelming process. Parenting is not simple, and good parenting requires hard work. For every saying you're told by someone with more experience, there is an evenly compelling, yet entirely different story just waiting in the sides. Combine that with the fact that the parenting choices you make actually can affect another person (your child), that's why so many parents today are feeling stressed.
It shouldn't come as a shock that there's lots of learning and research in this course, and ideas that were previously believed to be the "preferred" way of parenting, are now being discovered to actually have the contrary result. Ahead, are some science-based tactics and the newest impressive research on parenting right now.
1. Be A Good Role Model
Walk the talk. You don't just tell your child what you want them to do. It would be best if you show them. Humans are a unique species in part because we learn by simulation. We are programmed to imitate others' actions to understand them and to include them into our own. Children specifically, observe everything their parents do quite thoroughly. So, be the person you aspire your child to be. Respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion, and your kid will follow suit.
2. Love Them And Show Them Through Action
There is no such matter as loving your kid too much. Loving them cannot "spoil" them. So show them how much you love them. Only what you decide to do or give out of love can. Things like material-pampering, tolerance, low expectations, and over-protection will have a negative effect on them. When certain things are given in replacement of genuine love, that's when you'll beget a spoiled child.
Loving your child can be as easy as giving them hugs, spending time with them, and hearing their issues sincerely. Displaying these acts of love can trigger the release of good-feeling hormones such as oxytocin, opioids, and prolactin. These neurochemicals can deliver us an intense feeling of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment. From these, the child will develop resilience and, of course, a closer relationship with you.
3. Practice Kind And Firm Positive Parenting
Babies are born with around 100 billion neurons with almost little connections. These links produce our thoughts, motivate our actions, develop our personalities, and primarily define who we are. They are formed, established, and "sculpted" through occurrences across our lives.
Give your baby positive practices. They will have the capability to experience positive events themselves and extend them to others. If you give your child negative practices, they won't have the kind of growth needed for them to thrive. These positive experiences do not only create good contacts in your child's brain, but they also set the memories of you that your child carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it seems hard to stay positive. But it is likely to practice Positive Discipline and avoid retaliatory actions. Being a good parent means you need to teach your kid the moral in what is right and wrong. Setting boundaries and being consistent are the roots of proper discipline. Be gentle and firm when implementing those rules. Focus on the analysis behind the child's reaction. And make it a chance to learn for the future, rather than to punish for the past.
4. Be A Safe Haven For Your Child
Let your kid know that you'll always be there for them by being sensitive to their needs and responsive to their signals. Accept and support your child as an individual. Be a warm, safe haven for your kid to explore.
Kids raised by consistently responsive parents tend to have better emotional and social development and mental health results.
5. Talk With Your Child And Help Their Brains Integrate
Most of us already know the value of communication. Talk to your child and listen to them attentively too. By maintaining an open line of conversation, you'll have a better connection with your child, and your child will come to you when there's a problem.
6. Reflect On Your Own Childhood
Many of us aspire to parent differently from our own parents. Even those who had a pleasant childhood may wish to alter some aspects of how they were brought up. But oftentimes, when we speak, we sound just like our parents did. Reflecting on our own youth is the start of understanding why we parent the way we do. Make a journal of things you'd like to improve and think of how you'd do it differently in a real situation. Try to be careful and adjust your behavior the next time those issues come up. Don't give up if it doesn't work at first. It takes lots of practice anyway.
7. Pay Attention To Your Own Well-Being
Pay great attention to your own well-being. Frequently, things such as your health or the health of your marriage are held in abeyance when a child is born. If you don't pay much attention to them, they will soon become bigger obstacles down the road. Take good care of yourself, mentally and physically. Take time to strengthen your bond with your spouse. Your child will likely suffer too if these two areas fail.
8. Do Not Spank, No Matter What
To some parents, there's no doubt that spanking can bring quick compliance, which sometimes is a pure relief for the parents. But, this way doesn't explain the child right from wrong. It only influences the child to fear external consequences. The child is then urged to avoid getting caught instead.
Beating your child is showing your child that he/she can settle issues by violence. Children who are punished physically are more likely to fight with other kids. They are more prone to becoming bullies and use verbal/physical aggressiveness to solve conflicts. Later in life, they are also more prone to result in a fault, antisocial and wrongful behavior, worse parent-child bonds, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or abusers.
9. Keep Things In Perspective And Remember Your Parenting Goal
If you want your child to do excellently in school, be productive, be independent and responsible, relish meaningful bonds with you and others like most parents, be caring and tender, and have a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.
10. Take A Shortcut By Utilizing Findings In Latest Psychology And Neuroscience Research
Parenting is one of the most studied fields in psychology. Many parenting practices or beliefs have been scientifically researched, tested, improved, or denied. Using scientific knowledge is, of course, not an all-in-one strategy. Every kid is different. Even with the best parenting technique, there can be many different parenting methods you can pick according to your child's temperament.
