If you recently gave birth, there is a high chance that having sex with your partner is not topping your to-do list these days. While there are some exceptions, most women lose that feeling during the postpartum period for a lot of reasons.
Postpartum sex can be more pain than pleasure, especially if you have delivered vaginally. Since your vagina has just been stretched so much and possibly torn or surgically cut and sutured, it can leave you too sore to sit and have sex. Your natural lubrication has not come back yet and that can make you feel very dry and uncomfortable especially if you are breastfeeding. Adding to the potential for discomfort, low levels of estrogen can cause the vaginal tissue to remain thin, which can also affect how comfortable having sex will be.
But your postpartum libido has other problems to contend with, like sleep deprivation. For the past weeks, you may have been consumed with a very tiny and very needy baby, who is given to waking up with a full diaper and an empty stomach at different times throughout the night. Some other very effective mood killers can get in the way like the pile of dirty baby clothes, the pungent smell of spit-up on your sheets, the can of air freshener on your nightstand and the fact that you can't even remember when you had your last shower. It is no wonder that it is difficult to be intimate with your partner.
But do not worry, you will jump into bed eagerly again. Just like everything else in your overwhelming new life with a baby, it will just take patience and time, especially from your partner, who is almost certainly ready for this dry spell to end.
Get the green light for postpartum sex
First, make sure that you have gotten the okay from your practitioner, to whom you will likely be paying a visit four to six weeks after giving birth. If you had a vaginal delivery, having sex postpartum can be very messy and it can be very painful. Having sex that early could also leave you susceptible to a vaginal infection. And if you had a C-section, that means that your incision is still healing, so it is not advisable to engage in sexual intercourse just yet. Your body needs time to fully recover.
Use birth control methods
Unless you want back-to-back pregnancies, you will need a reliable form of birth control. And despite what you have heard, breastfeeding does not count. At your postpartum visit to your practitioner, you can discuss about your birth control options. If you are breastfeeding and even if you are not, they may differ from what you used pre-baby, especially if you were on the pill. The progestin-only pill and Depo-Provera, both of which do not contain estrogen, are the most commonly used when still nursing. It is given six weeks after giving birth to mothers who are breastfeeding. If you are not nursing, hormonal methods like the pill, ring or patch will work for you.
Loosen up
Drinking a small glass of wine can also help you and your partner unwind. It can help you from tensing up and experiencing pain during intercourse. If you are nursing, just make sure that you drink it right after a feeding. Another great way to loosen up is massage, so you can request one before you get it on with your partner.
ALSO READ: Sex After Pregnancy: 3 Simple Solutions To Couples' Sex Problems After Childbirth
