Parents always tell their children to listen to what they say. And while their children are still young, parents tend toestablish a sense of authority over them. However, what most parents are not aware of is that they also make some mistakes, which would later on have a long term effect.
With good intent, most parents rely on their instincts and they tend to avoid getting advice when encountering parenting issues and problems. But the thing is, most parents are unaware that they do this, so it is important to be mindful in every situation and try to avoid these 7 common parenting mistakes:
- Avoiding to fix problems
Parents may have a hard time admitting they are right because they are parents, who in their mind, should be as flawless as possible in front of their children. They might think that certain problems should just be as it is and would not try to fix it with their children. However, problems and issues within the family or between a parent and a child should be addressed properly. Misunderstandings and similar issues, when not immediately solved, may last for months, or worse, years.
To address this, you may opt to do some research on how to cope with these frustrations between you and your child. Read books, websites, and articles if you need to. You may also consider going into counseling. - Underestimating and overestimating problems
It is always best to identify first how big or small your problem is before trying to fix it. A problem with your child is due to a number of factors, one of which is their age. You also have to consider this and match it with their way of thinking because children think differently as they grow. - Inconsistency
Children will notice if their parents are showing inconsistency in their parenting style. There are parents who are strict at times, but are seemingly careless other times. With inconsistency, children, especially younger ones, would have a hard time identifying their parent's moods and it will be very difficult for them to communicate with their parents. - Unrealistic expectations
Unrealistic expectations from your children will most likely spark problems between you and them. You need to level your expectations according to your child's age and capability. A lot of parents would feel frustrated if their toddlers still don't know how to do potty time correctly, and reacting unreasonably towards this will cause stress to the child as well. They would then feel that they are not smart enough to do even such small things. Be calm and have as much patience as you can towards your children. - Fighting back
Parents should know that fighting back a against their children can only make an already problematic situation worse. Fighting back does not necessarily mean physical, but it can also be in other forms such as getting mad, yelling, and stressfully repeating yourself numerous times. This is considered a destructive form of communication. Fighting back will cause more damage because your child might adapt the same behavior as they grow up, and you will have a hard time handling the same situation in the future. - Not changing what doesn't work
Recognizing the problem and issue is not enough. You need to identify what went wrong in your parenting style and then change the system. As an analogy, do the same with your children. Correct their problem and behavior as much as necessary. Talk it out with them so they could to learn to be open to you when they are going through something. This way, you build a stronger and healhier relationship with your child. - No rules and limits
A lot of parents would think that letting their children do whatever they want would equate to a happy parent-child relationship, but it doesn't. As a parent, you still need to establish house and ground rules and set limitations with your children. No matter how lenient you may be as a parent, having rules and limitations will let your child know what to expect from you.
