Parenting is already difficult as it is, but if you and your partner decides to go your separate ways, you need to be ready for a whole new level of challenge called is co-parenting. Co-parenting is a situation wherein you and your partner live on different houses after your divorce, and you need to create a schedule so that both of you can spend quality time with your children.
Co-parenting is not easy, especially if you and your partner separates on bad terms. You need to put your emotions aside for the sake of your child's well-being and you need to make major adjustments to your schedule. There are custody agreements that are settled in court, but it is a long and complicated battle that your child won't understand. No matter what your situation is with your ex-husband or ex-wife, you both need to agree that your child's welfare should be your priority.
Tips for divorced parents
Once you break the news to your children, you both need to acknowledge their emotions. It is natural for them to feel scared and hurt, after all, children are taught in school that family means living in one house. Gently explain to them that just because one of you will move out, it does not mean that you are not a family anymore.
If your children does not want to go to their dad's house or their mom's house, try to shift their mindset and do not let them dwell on negative thoughts and emotions. Cement the idea that you both love them and want to spend time with them, which is why they need to go back and forth to two houses, especially during weekends.
It is also important that your children sees that even though you and your partner separated, you still respect each other. If your ex-husband or ex-wife tells you that the children are grounded, make sure that it still applied once they move back into your house. In this way, your children will not prefer one parent over the other.
If you are the one who is going to move out, make sure that you can still be close to your children. This can be reassuring for your children, knowing that you are just one phone call away in case they need something and travelling won't be a problem for them during the weekends. If you are going to live too far away, your children might find it exhausting.
Working with your ex will be difficult, but you both need to find a common ground. You do not have to be friends, you just need to be partners. As your children grows and their needs change, the more that you need to work together in order to give them the best life even after your separation.
Consider counseling
Counseling is not only applicable to you and your ex, you can also let your children be counseled while the divorce is ongoing so that they can understand what is happening. Counseling can also be your children's outlet so that they can express what they think about the change in your family situation.
There is no easy way to be separated, even though you are no longer connected to your partner, you will still be a parent and that will not change.
