We've all seen it on social media posts and news articles, celebrity mothers being shamed for things that they do like buying expensive things for their child or letting their child grow their hair. Each action is being watched and each action is being criticized. This type of shaming is called mom-shaming, where mothers are bullied for their decisions for their child and their parenting style.
Mom-shamers are everywhere, and their negativity can add more stress to the lives of mothers. This kind of behavior is a way for some people to feel good about themselves, they tear others down to prove that their parenting style or their decisions are better. It is toxic, but unfortunately, it is inevitable, so the only thing that you can do is to shut them down.
How to shut down mom-shamers
There are different types of mom-shamers, and the most common mom-shamers are strangers. There are new mothers who experienced being approached by older people, or mothers whose children are all grown up. They will criticize the way that you hold your baby, the way that you dress them up, and how you try to calm a crying baby.
Unsolicited advice can be irritating, it can often add to your frustration. But not all unsolicited advice is bad, there are those that make sense and some strangers give good points. If you are sensitive, it is best that you take a step back and look at the situation objectively before you jump into a confrontation. It is important that you weed out the insults from good intentions, in that way, you will know when to fight back and when to acknowledge good advice.
Another type of mom-shamers can be found online. This is what we often see, and they can be more brutal because they can hide behind their keyboards and go off on you without any filter. So how can you prevent being shamed online? You just need to log out and turn your device off. If you are going to post something on your social media, make it private and available only for your friends and family to see.
New mothers can also be mom-shamed by their own mothers or their mother-in-law. They do have more experience, and they know a few tricks that you may not be aware of. But if they call you out on your every move and they are manipulating your parenting style so they can mirror it to their own, then it is best to talk to them about it. Sure, they mean no harm and probably just want to help you out, but you need to set boundaries and say that you want to raise your child in your own terms.
You can still gently tell them that you need some space to grow as a mother, while at the same time assure them that if you need something, they will be the first ones that you will turn to.
How to recover from mom-shaming
Mom-shaming can be disheartening and overwhelming, but try to stay positive and instill the idea that people will criticize you no matter what, and as long as your child is well taken cared of, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Focus on your growth and strengthen your mentality, you can talk to counselors and therapists about the mom-shaming that you've experienced so that you can have an outlet if things get too tough.
ALSO READ: Anne Hathaway Talks Mom-Shaming And Needing Her Husband For His 'Unique And Specific Love'
