Parenthood is both fulfilling and stressful. There are instances when parents get confused about what to do. With all the parenting tips handed down from generations, some of these tend to coincide or contradict each other.
Experts say that parents should be aware of parenting myths. Here are some of those myths that expert have debunked:
1. Parents are not allowed to say NO to their kids.
Many parents feel guilty when they say no to their children. However, experts say that it should not be the case. Clinical psychologist Heather Wittenberg says that saying no is always okay, especially if it is not stated in a hostile tone. Wittenberg believes that in doing so, children learn the essence of limits that are set to help them in different skills in life.
2. Being a good parent means putting your kids' needs first.
This belief leads parents to ignore their personal needs. According to parent-child relationships expert and clinical psychologist, Jessica Michaelson, PsyD, the culture of putting the child first may lead to a child-obsessed life.
Wittenberg also notes that parents should keep themselves healthy too because this also sends the message to children that they are the head of the family.
Also, children learn of self-care and self-compassion when they see their parents taking care of personal needs.
3. Picking-up a baby when they cry is equal to spoiling them.
According to Maurice Elias, Ph.D., the author of Emotionally Intelligent Parenting (Three Rivers Press), a parent can never spoil a newborn. Also, babies need to develop trust in their parents, that they will be taken care of in this world. If parents do not pick up a crying child, then that trust will not be developed.
The critical reminder here, according to Elias, is that the baby needs to be picked up if he or she calms down when you do so. Although when the baby is already six months old, parents should learn to take little steps back to teach their baby that they can survive.
4. Fighting in front of the children will never do you good.
This myth, for experts, is somewhat true. However, the silver lining is when there is a calm, composed, and low-volume argument instead of a heated one. If the discussion is blame-free, then children will learn the importance of resolving conflicts healthily.
Dr. Elias suggests that if parents feel it is going to be a heated conversation, it would be best if children are left out of it. Doing so prevents kids from blaming themselves: their young minds tend to see arguments of parents as something that they caused.
5. Kids need protection 24/7.
Let us admit that children cannot be protected for 24 hours, seven days a week, and it is also true that the world is full of danger.
Parents will not always be there, but they may teach their children how to be street smart, and eventually be independent.
Parents should trust their children that when the time comes, their kids will make good choices based on what has been taught to them.
