Parents often ask why their child will not listen to them. However, what they really mean by this is why will not their children follow their instructions?
Children are ready to listen; equipped from birth to begin to decode our words and feel our unspoken messages. They are also unique individuals who are able to develop ideas, perspectives, and wills of their own. Babies and toddlers are able to understand exactly what we mean and what we want however, they choose to do the otherwise.
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Why won't children do as we say?
Experts, over the years, have observed children and the way they respond to parents. Here are some reasons experts see as to why your children won't listen:
Disconnection
Because children are not feeling your love, they often resist and show their rebellious behaviors repeatedly. Sensing that they are out of favor with you; being misunderstood and blamed when all they want is your help. These impulsive behaviors from your children tend to continue and repeat until you realize that your children are sending you this intense message; be their gentle leader and help them feel safe again.
Words are not enough to make your children listen, and sometimes, a single word is enough. Understand that even after repeating your words countless times, you need to know where they are coming from, and why they would not listen. Try saying what you want and instruct them with just a single word. Know that it is difficult for your children to understand and express their needs, hence their unruly behavior and them being uncooperative. This is the time to demonstrate and show that you have a handle on their behaviors and that you have their backs. Name their feelings, and tell them that you understand. It is on you to make your expectations clear by following through with a firm, but gentle actions.
You are unconvincing or way too excited when instructing your child to do something.
Remember that the manner in which you give instructions to determine whether your children will follow them or not. Perfecting your confidence, matter-of-fact delivery, and noting to put a period rather than a question such as, "okay?", at the end of your sentences is a need and some parents need help in perfecting those.
You over-direct
Nobody likes being ordered around, especially when they are toddlers or even teenagers. Give your children the freedom to choose. Just like everyone else, children want to be active participants in decision-making, especially if it concerns them. Provide your child, with information and include them in decisions and ask them to help you in problem-solving. If you cannot help it, try giving your child simple and short instructions to follow, as well as keep your expectations realistic.
Your child has better things to do or accomplish
There are times that not following your instructions can be a good thing because it will reflect your child having healthy and delightful instincts to learn the way young children like them learn best; through playing, exploration, and following their inner-direction.
