Due to COVID-19, many people are suffering. People grieve about the loss of loved ones, but they also grieve the loss of businesses, freedom, livelihood, and the sense of normalcy. People have also felt a loss of connectedness and a sense of safety. They are afraid of getting infected whenever they go out in public places.
Parents should be aware that even children feel grief during this time. Even if they do not show it, kids grieve the loss of childhood rites of passage. They miss out on school events and ceremonies, sleepovers, organized sports, and simple hangouts with their friends.
As a parent, you could help your children cope with feelings of grief with empathic listening. It is a skill that a lot of adults need to develop to be able to do correctly.
What is empathic listening?
Empathic listening is by placing oneself onto the shoes of others. In this case, parents should put themselves onto the shoes of their children to understand their point of view. Some doctors have attended training to be skilled with this vital tool of compassion.
Empathic listening helps make children more productive at processing grief. More often, they feel misunderstood and could not express themselves fully. Adults usually tend to talk more, offering wisdom through knowledge and experiences.
What children need, instead, is a welcoming environment so they could share their grief. Gregorio Billikopf, professor at the University of California, calls the empathic listening approach as "listening first aid."
Start with open-ended questions
Parents should begin by asking the right questions. You may ask about your children's grief. Reflect on their answer by repeating what they have said. You could say that "It sounds like you are feeling "something." It would show that you understand what they are feeling.
Validate their feelings
After they have shared their grief, validate their feelings, and encourage them to share some more.
Read also: 8 Positive Parenting Tips for Your Teens
Give full attention
Show your love and affection by giving your full attention when you are engaging in active listening. Remove all distractions, including gadgets or even your other kids.
Walk with each kid individually
Make sure to give time to each one of your children. It will make them open up more if they know that they have an uninterrupted time with you.
Share overlapped feelings
You may tell them that you feel the same way as to how they are feeling. If you have experienced the loss of a loved one, tell them that you both miss that same person. It would make your child feel that they are not alone.
Things to avoid saying
Try to avoid saying that you know how they feel. It sends pressure to your child to handle the same feelings as to how you do. Your child may be afraid to disappoint you if they could not control his feelings the way you do.
When we help our children process grief through empathic listening, we are also helping ourselves. It gives us adults a chance to reflect on what is going on in our lives.
