Divorce is never easy, especially when there are children involved. The stress and negative emotions make it difficult to make decisions. If you are not careful, the divorce can become rather messy, which can impact your children for years to come. This is why it is important that you deal with your divorce in the best way possible. Below are some tips and strategies you can use that will hopefully make your divorce a little more bearable.
Communicate the Right Way
The first thing you focus on is how you communicate with your partner. You want, if possible, to retain an open line of communication between each other and in a healthy way. Work on having your discussions when you are both in the right frame of mind and when the children are not present. There is often a lot of anger in a divorce, but you will want to keep this from your conversations as much as you can. This only leads to saying things you regret, which can make the divorce harder.
If you find yourself getting heated during a conversation, push the pause button, and come back to it later. Of course, you can only control your own emotions and not those of your partner. Still, if you are able to approach these conversations in a healthy way, hopefully, your partner will too.
Talk With Your Kids
At some point, you will need to discuss the divorce with your kids. This is a difficult conversation, and whenever possible, both parents should be present. Talk to your kid about what is going on, what the future will look like, and explain that this is not their fault. Be prepared for a range of emotions and a lot of questions. It is not a bad idea to practice what you are going to say beforehand and to prepare some answers to common questions. The conversation will be difficult, but remember that this divorce is best for everyone.
Have a Good Support System
Going through a divorce on your own is challenging, to say the least. You will want to have a good support system there to help you through the more difficult parts. Key members of your support system will be your family and friends. Reach out to them, let them know what is going on, and do not be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
Another important member of your support system is your lawyer. A good divorce lawyer will handle all the legal work and offer great advice. According to Gearing, Rackner & McGrath, a Portland divorce attorney, "An experienced custody attorney can offer valuable advice about what sort of custody and parenting plan arrangement would be best for your situation, but every family is unique."
Find a good divorce attorney as early as you can in the process. You will have enough stress on your plate from the start, so the more people you have around to help you, the better.
Plan Out Your Finances
After a divorce, your financial situation is going to change. You may have to pay child support, afford rent on your own or not have a source of income at all. You will want to plan out what your finances will look like going forward. Map out what sort of income you will have, along with the likely expenses. When figuring out your finances, do not forget to include the fees for your divorce attorney, along with any debts that you and your spouse had together. If there are issues during the divorce about who should pay what, you may need the services of a mediator.
For more help on planning out your finances during a divorce, you can check out this guide.
Find Ways to Relieve Stress
Finally, you should have your own methods of relieving stress. Going through a divorce is stressful, so you will need a way to reduce that tension. Sign up for a gym membership, pick up a new hobby or set aside time to do some reading. Whatever it is that works for you, make sure that you do it. If you do not relieve stress during a divorce, you may end up taking it out on your former partner, kids or other people in your life.
Divorces are rarely easy, but they do not always have to be a nightmare. If you can plan out some things in advance, take care of your mental health, focus on strong communication and have a good support system around you, you can likely get through it without extra hassle.
If you are filing for divorce, contact one of the dedicated Oregon family law attorneys at Gearing, Rackner & McGrath, LLP. We have extensive experience handling Portland divorce cases as well as the related issues that frequently come up throughout the divorce process. To learn more about how our attorneys can assist you, call us at 503-468-6741 or contact us through our online form.
