Hate is such a strong word to express dislike, but is it possible for grown children to hate their parents? Are there grown children who ignore their parents?
According to social psychologist Jane Adams in an article in Psychology Today, there are several reasons why there are grown children who ignore their parents.
Some people call this divorce with their parents. On a website, We Have Kids, one of the authors wrote about her experience of choosing to "break up" with her parents. She shared that it was not easy, and she wishes it did not happen.
Experts and personal experiences of different people show that there are various reasons why there are grown children who ignore their parents. Here are some of the common reasons that we have compiled:
Refusal of parents to apologize
When the children are younger, they are taught by parents to be humble and accept their mistakes. However, some parents fail to acknowledge their mistakes. Worse, some parents are not willing to apologize even if they know they have done something wrong.
Disrespect to the grown children's decisions or even spouse
Many of those children who ignore their parents feel that they are disrespected. According to Dr. Adams, parents tend to insist that they are right and forget that their children can probably have the correct version.
When parents ignore boundaries, they start to disrespect their children's decisions, causing them to become distant. Matters like marriage, lifestyle, religion, or other choices are things that parents tend to stick their nose into when they should not.
Some parents keep on forgetting that becoming a mom or a dad would necessarily mean that they have the right to interfere even with their grown children's lives.
Grown children feel ignored.
As Dr. Adams would put it, grown children who ignore their parents feel that they are not heard. The worst part is that they know their parents listened, but their side of the story is not heard.
Some parents tend to have an instant answer to specific situations, and they forget that they have to listen first. This instance causes a child to become distant.
The classic favoritism
When the siblings were younger, parents are the ones who fix and address the arguments-however, other parents who cannot move on from this role.
Since siblings' disagreements when they are older are more complex, they do not want their parents to mediate. According to Dr. Adams, parents should let the kids work the disagreements on their own, even if they have an opinion on who is right.
If parents meddle into disagreements like this, then it would only lead to pushing away one of the children.
