There are many reasons why your child might develop low self-esteem. Sometimes it's because of a serious accident. There are many devastating repercussions of a face injury, which includes extremely low self-esteem, but your child doesn't have to be in a serious accident to feel low about themselves. From peers at school to a poor grade on a math test to spending too much time on social media, there are many reasons why your child may not feel good about themselves.
You don't have to sit back and watch your child's self-esteem disappear! There are things you can do as a parent to help your child feel better about themselves and their abilities.
Model a More Positive Outlook When Making Mistakes
No one wants to make mistakes. It can make us feel like a failure and we can't do anything right. However, no matter what your age, not making mistakes is the biggest mistake you can make.
Making mistakes comes with learning experiences you wouldn't have had without making the mistake in the first place. As a parent, it's your job to model a more positive outlook when making mistakes. That includes when you make mistakes, as well as helping your child brainstorm the good that can come out of the mistakes they make.
Talk about what you learned from the mistakes you made in your life, what your child learned from their mistake, and how they can use that mistake to do better next time.
Model Confidence in Yourself
It's hard to be confident if you don't know what confidence looks like! Your child spends a lot of time around you as their parent, which means you have a huge opportunity to show them the confidence they should be developing for themselves.
Being a role model can be especially hard if you have a daughter, as their self-esteem often revolves around their looks. As a mother, spend less time nitpicking your own appearance and find things to compliment about yourself. Stop talking about diets and losing weight and instead encourage your child to spend more time finding the beauty in themselves rather than focusing on the things they think they need to change.
Praise Effort-Not Outcome
There's nothing wrong with praising your child for a job well done, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't say anything if they lost the big game or bombed their math test. You should spend more time praising their effort rather than the outcome.
Take the time to praise your child for spending so much time studying and tell them how proud you are that they took the opportunity to get extra credit to boost their latest test score. Praise them for spending so much extra time developing their skills and remind them that they will pay off, even if they don't pay off right away. It will teach your child to be resilient and not give up. When they finally achieve what they set out to do, their self-esteem will get a huge boost.
Encourage Them to Try New Things
When you don't have a lot of self-esteem, it's easy to crawl inside your shell and spend most of your time at home watching TV or playing video games. Unfortunately, these activities aren't self-esteem builders.
Encourage your child to get out there and try new things. Have them try out for a new sport, encourage them to join a new club, or gather the supplies they need to get started with a new hobby. If one attempt fails, continue encouraging them until they find something they love. When they do find something they love and they are good at, their self-esteem will follow.
Give Them Chores to Do
Every child will tell you they don't want to do chores, but you should give them chores anyway. Kids feel like a more active participant in the home and they will feel more valued for doing their chores when you thank them when they're done. It gives them a little ownership over their house and it can make them feel like a true member of the family.
Children of all ages can do chores! A few age-appropriate chores include:
Young toddlers can pick up their toys and wipe up messes.
Elementary students can clear the table, fold laundry, and take care of pets.
Teenagers can do their own laundry, mow the lawn, and prepare meals.
Don't Jump in and Solve Problems for Them
Children have a lot to learn as they grow and navigate the world. Helping them take a positive spin on the mistakes they make is important, but so is letting them work through the mistakes they made.
Don't solve your children's problems for them if it can be helped. Don't do an important project for them at the last minute, don't rush to school to take an instrument they left at home, and don't go down to the school to talk to their teacher about a bad grade.
Instead, help your child problem solve. What can they do to get a good grade in the class even if they skipped an important project, and what can they do next time so they don't forget their instrument? They might be mad in the moment, but it will encourage them to solve problems on their own, boosting their self-esteem.
Go Shopping
Sometimes, self-esteem problems aren't so complex. Instead, it's simply a matter of not feeling your best because you don't feel like you look your best!
Don't shy away from going shopping and buying a few new pieces of clothing, makeup, and other personal care items that make your child feel confident. Often, when we feel like we look good, our self-esteem will follow.
It's normal for children to struggle with their self-esteem, but poor self-esteem isn't something they have to live with for the rest of their lives. With the tips on this list, you can support your child's self-esteem so they develop into confident and capable young adults.
