Moms and dads have to walk a fine line. On the one hand, they want their kids to be safe and secure. On the other hand, they want to give their kids the freedom they need to live and learn.
The key, as with all things in life, is finding balance between doing too little and doing too much. It's perfectly reasonable to want your child to be happy and out of harm's way. However, parents who hover tend to do their kids a great disservice.
If you're determined to stay on top of your kiddo's activities without literally staying by his or her side, you have several choices. Thanks to innovative entrepreneurs, you can "be there" without being there. And that's a relief for everyone involved.
What are some of the easiest methods to keep tabs on a youngster who's old enough for some freedom but too young to be footloose and fancy free?
1. Get them a phone designed for kids.
You're probably going to have to bite the bullet and buy your child a phone sooner than you might like. Many kids get their first phones sometime in elementary school, and most definitely by their middle school years. Still, that doesn't mean that you have to hand over an iPhone with all its apps.
Instead, investigate providers that make a cell phone for kids that isn't just an adult smartphone gussied up with a youthful cover. True kids' phones are more limited than kids would like, which is exactly what you want. Rather than having to fiddle with complex parental controls and try to keep passwords away from your children, you can simply hand them a phone that only offers phone, texting, and very limited gaming abilities.
What's the advantage to a phone without Internet or social media access? First, your kids won't be exposed to adult content or social site related cyberbullying through their phones. Secondly, your kids won't keep bugging you for a phone. They'll have one. And its main purpose will be to keep them in touch with you. It's the best of all worlds.
2. Download a monitoring app on older children's phones.
Let's say you have a teen with a smartphone. The cat's already out of the bag and your son or daughter has access to everything on the web. That doesn't mean you just throw up your hands and relinquish control.
Several technology companies have developed superior monitoring and tracking apps. When downloaded and activated on your preteen or teen's phone, you can immediately see where your child is physically. You can also view call histories, track texts-yes, even the deleted ones, and monitor social media posting.
While you don't want to turn into a total Big Brother, having this kind of insight into what your youngster is doing can be useful. It can also be a deterrent. Your kid will be less likely to use the phone in irresponsible ways if he or she knows that you can watch everything. As long as you're paying for a cell phone, you have the right to check in now and then.
3. Limit electronics use to certain rooms.
A low-tech way to keep a watchful eye over your child's Internet use is to simply limit electronics to certain rooms. For instance, you may make it off limits for your child to use a phone, tablet or laptop in his or her bedroom. That way, the only place your son or daughter can get online is in a room where you're likely to be, such as the den or livingroom.
If you've already allowed your child free reign over all electronics, you can expect some initial pushback. You might even have to follow the rules yourself to make it clear that this is a family project to reduce screen time and tech usage for everyone.
Even after instituting this rule, you may still want to look at your child's browser history on a laptop or desktop now and then. As your child gets older, you can change these rules accordingly. But when you have very young kiddos, giving them strict usage guidelines can help them shape healthier habits.
4. Establish parental controls on all computers used by the younger set.
Okay, maybe you're not technically gifted. That's no excuse not to learn how to download and use parental control software on devices like tablets and laptops. Many software packages are affordably priced, and some of them are free to use.
All software in this category keeps you ahead of the curve and out of the dark. Although your child may fight against being monitored online, you have the right and responsibility to be an understanding protector.
The only caveat to investing in parental control software is that you may have to make sure it allows your child access to sites necessary for online schooling. Many schools have moved to fully or partially remote and distanced learning. The last thing you want is for a parental control software program to get in the way of your child being able to fully participate in a Zoom discussion or conduct research for a lengthy paper.
5. Be the invisible passenger in your teen's car.
Did your teen just earn a driver's license? This is a time to celebrate, although you're probably worried every time the car leaves your driveway and you're not behind the wheel. Good thing that there are apps to help you know where your teen driver is.
The app must be downloaded onto your teen's phone. Once there, it uses the phone's GPS and internal monitoring systems to send you alerts. With a few touches of your own phone screen, you can figure out where your teenage driver has gone.
Again, teens might feel awkward or like you're peering into their lives. Just let them know that you're most interested in their safety. If you have forged a healthy relationship with your child over the years, your child may grumble but will understand you're being honest.
From apps to software, technology can help you avoid helicoptering while still being able to know what's going on with your child throughout the day. Relying on emerging tech is much more efficient, discreet, and time-saving than following your child like a textbook private eye.
