Divorce and breakups can be one of the most stressful, and most emotional ones that anyone could ever experience. No matter the reason for the divorce and breakups, the end of a relationship has the ability to turn your world upside down while triggering all sorts of painful and unsettling emotions.
Although divorce and breakups can cause pain, disruption in routines and the things you used to do, recovering from it can also be a way for you to heal not only your current self but as well as to heal your past and old wounds within you that were set aside. Apparently, the path towards healing will not be easy, since it requires work on your part, and it also comes with certain changes. To help you, here are some steps and ways on the path towards healing from divorce and breakups and healing your past and unhidden issues.
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Leaving your childhood
Some people are lucky to have a nice, warm, and positive childhood. Others, they were left with unhealed wounds from their childhoods. Bad memories, emotional triggers, certain views about one's self, trust issues, the belief to always look out for the worst, and the cycle of always blaming themselves. You can leave this childhood of yours with some takeaways in which you will decide whether you need to change it or to keep it.
Being drawn to the lesser evil
People tend to be drawn to people who are always in contrast to what they came before, and to what seems less bad. This means being attracted to someone who is abusive and stable, yet not as abusive as one's abuser before. Knowing this will help you in accepting and moving on after your divorce and breakups. This is also another way to unhinge the hidden issues you have within you.
Making the relationship work
The small differences that people get to see and get attracted to gives them hope that maybe this time, it will be different. So, they make such relationships work. Sometimes it works, or it doesn't. Sometimes, this relationship that they think will be different, over time, will be the same that they have experienced before, only more painful and harder. And the healing that people crave in making this type of relationship work is not coming.
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Then the divorce and breakups happen
People are doing everything they can, and every right thing they know, but the relationship is still not working. This is where the divorce and breakups happen - the need for time off and space. Once again finding that something that people need in order for them to heal.
Do not settle
Other people do not move through these steps and stages, and instead, they continue to repeat the same thing although in different forms. All the while thinking that those are as good as they can get. People settle when they shouldn't. The best thing to do is to recognize the larger patterns and be courageous enough to change them. Speak up, push back, fight for it, and even get out if you must.
