How to Keep a Healthy Mother-Daughter Relationship

Mother-daughter relationships are complicated and distinct. Some mothers and daughters are best friends, some talk only once a week, some see each other on weekends only, and others live in different states or even countries. In some mother-daughter relationships, they avoid conflict, others sit down and talk through everything, and some spar regularly. Whatever kind of mother-daughter relationship you have currently, you can always level it up and make it better, and here's how.


Make the first move.

A mother-daughter relationship can only get better if one makes the first move. Do not wait for the other person to make the first move since this will only leave the relationship stuck. You need to assess and think about how you feel in the relationship to know what you can do to change and make it better.


Working on your differences

Although mothers and daughters are biologically almost the same, they are still different people. Working on your differences, especially when it comes to generational differences, can take a while but possible. It can be challenging for a mother who does not and did not work to accept a daughter that uses full-time, will have less time to commit time to household tasks, or taking care of a child. It would be best if you worked on these differences through understanding and recognizing social change. Also, learn to agree to disagree. Realize that there are topics and issues that you'll never compromise on but that it is okay. Remember that a daughter doesn't need to change her choices to please her mother. Also, the mother doesn't need to change her opinions.


Communicate and be an active listener

For some mother-daughter relationships, they experience personality clashes. That occurs when one person is strong-willed and has dominant views, while the others do not and are the opposite. When daughters have to argue with their mothers about everything, both can feel powerless. They can rebuild their connection by giving each other a sense of importance by listening to one another. Both parties should be an active listener and learn how to communicate by responding thoughtfully to each other rather than having a reaction during heated moments.


Putting yourself in each others' shoes

If you're a daughter, thinking about your mother as a woman with her wounds and hurts, born and raised in a different generation together with different values and complicated family relationships and issues. With this, address their feelings with empathy and give in to compromise. If your mother badly wants to hang out with you, instead of telling her to stop asking you because you're busy, say that you know how much she wants to meet with you and you wish you could, but you can't make this week, so maybe you can meet next week instead.

How to Keep a Healthy Mother-Daughter Relationship
How to Keep a Healthy Mother-Daughter Relationship Elly Fairytale from Pexels

Forgiveness

Conflicts and arguments are expected. What's not normal is staying in such situations. Learn to forgive, and let it go. Forgiving someone does not mean that what happened is okay. It only means that you are letting go of all the resentment towards the person and the situation. Forgiveness is an individual act and is a key to well-being.

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