After being married for 5 years, the husband left the family home. He calls his wife from a hotel room at night and says he loves her but hates their kids.
On the podcast, The Dear Prudence Show, a letter writer (LW) revealed how her children's dad leaves kids after planning an escape for a long time. The husband opened up about not wanting to be a father since their first child was born.
Apparently, after the LW gave birth to their firstborn, her husband realized he did not want to be a father. Nevertheless, he kept his feelings from her.
After giving birth to their most recent child, the husband said he could no longer stand being a father. So the dad leaves the kids with their mom.
Dad Leaves Kids, Tells Wife "I Still Love You, Honey"
In a surprising twist of events, the husband proclaimed his love for his wife over the hotel phone call. He says he still wanted to be in a relationship with his wife. But, they would meet outside instead of home, where he never planned to go back.
The husband says how he was so in love with his wife, so gave in to her desire to have kids. "Expecting to feel parent love after he bit the bullet but never did," revealed the devastated wife.
The wife responded with a great deal of understanding and empathy at first. She told her husband she understands if he needed a break since they have been at home with the kids more since the pandemic.
"At some point, every parent felt like running away," the wife told her husband. She added that he could stay at the hotel for some time then talk with a therapist. But, she put her foot down and told her husband their next conversation should not involve her husband insulting their kids.
Husband Cries Out for Attention
The husband persisted, saying he always felt hatred toward their children. He added how he felt their firstborn; their daughter stole his wife from her. Dad blamed his baby for stealing his wife's love and care.
It was at this point that the wife felt "unbearable pain," as she would recount, telling the podcast listeners that she had no other move left but to hang up on her husband's call, Cafe Mom reported.
Facebook Commenters Send the Hate Back to Dad
The story went viral on social media as podcast listeners, and non-listeners alike flocked to the Facebook post to give their piece of advice. Many told the letter writer to leave her husband and protect her kids from their toxic father.
Others commented on how they could see narcissistic behavior in the husband. There was also advice to freeze the husband's assets to teach him a lesson that "marriage is not all fun and no responsibilities."
Columnist Daniel M. Lavery and guest Alicia Harris Advised Mom
Lavery applauded the letter writer for showing great restraint when she hung up on the father of her kids. Harris also said it was unfathomable to say you love someone, then abandon your partner with your children, yet still want to have sex with them.
Lavery debunked the LW's consideration that it could be a temporary breakdown. He noted that thinking about the escape for years was not made up. "He won't come to his senses," noted the columnist. The duo then advised the mom to do everything she could to help her kids deal with the trauma.
ALSO READ : Divorce Is Better for Children [Experts Say]
Can Kids Ruin a Marriage?
According to the 2003 Journal of Marriage and Family, new parents are far less satisfied than their childless peers, Today reported.
In a report on Parents, Philip Cowan, Ph.D. and his wife, Carolyn Pape Cowan, Ph.D. revealed that 92 percent of the couples in their study noted they had increased conflict after having a baby. Once the baby reaches 18 months, 25 percent of the couples noted distress in their marriage.
It is cooperation and respect that can make or break marriages, the Cowans revealed.
