If you want to know how to avoid being an adult child enabler this 2021, chances are you already feel you are enabling your adult child.
According to experts, some adult children who have become overly dependent are more challenged during the pandemic.
Because of this, some parents become emotionally and financially drained.
According to Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein of Psychology Today, parents who contacted him for coaching sessions face stories of lies, social anxiety, low self-esteem, and even substance abuse of their adult child. As they go through this, parents who want to know how to avoid being an adult child enabler are hurting big time
So here are some tips from experts on how to avoid being an adult child enabler:
Think before making any kind of action
Specifically, parents can learn how to avoid being an adult child enabler by not being a financial enabler. Although it would be tempting to help your child financially, this should be done within reason.
Parents should note that an adult child can go towards the path of independence when they learn how to earn their own spending money.
That is why parents must ensure that when they hand their adult child money, it is only when they badly need it and it would not cause them to be too much dependent on their parents again.
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Encourage your adult child to live in "the doing."
Since it is undeniable that a lot of employees have been laid out from work, some people can no longer hold onto jobs and are forced to stay at home.
However, this does not mean that parents should not encourage their children to help out at home. Some tasks could be helpful to parents with an adult child at home.
Some of these tasks may include:
- driving you to places
- cleaning
- decluttering
- household chores
- taking things to donation sites
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When caught off guard, stall
Sometimes, the most unwanted decisions are made when parents are caught off guard. To be able to avoid this, parents should devise a way that can lead them to stall some time to think. Do not decide right away.
Some of the answers that you can give your adult child during these instances are:
- "Please give me some time to think about it."
- "I'll talk to your dad/mom about it."
- "I'll get back to you tomorrow."
Through these responses, you can also start assessing whether you should act according to your adult child's favor.
It's okay to say you changed your mind.
Sometimes, out of obligation to stay true to what you've already said, parents are afraid to take back what they said.
After some careful time thinking, and if necessary, parents have the right to say that they changed their mind. That is especially since this is one good way on how to avoid being an adult enabler.
