One cannot help but envy a mom who holds her child so happily without a care in the world. Meanwhile, an overwhelmed mom is on the bathroom floor crying while her children are making a mess in the kitchen, crying, and fighting with each other. Pause, breathe. This situation is not fixed. There are some things moms can do to become a happy mom and enjoy motherhood again (like holding your first baby for the first time).
1. A Happy Mom Does Not Self-Destruct
It can be easy to self-sabotage and criticize yourself for not being a supermom. But, who says we need to be super all the time? When your inner critic tries to bring you down, distract yourself. We can be our worst critics. It is okay to serve your kids a less-than-healthy dinner when you are too tired to cook — and yes, you can choose sleep over cleaning up the toys in the wee hours.
2. She Chooses Her Battles
Happy moms do not get angry over every mistake — theirs, their husbands', or their children's. Do not exhaust yourself needlessly, Moms reminded. Consider if you can let one pass or slide. Remember, there is no use crying over spilt milk.
3. She Does Not Compare and Compete
The happiest moms love what they have and do not seek to have what others have. They know that it is harmful to compare and compete with others' kids, husbands, houses, cars, outfits, cookies, and gardens. It all comes down to being content with what you have and finding fulfillment in the present.
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4. She Forgives Herself
Because parents are a child's role models, it is normal to want to do the right thing all the time and live up to our own parenting ideals. But when parents start to yell, bribe our kids, lose our tempers, or become inconsistent with our rules and routines, do not forget to cut yourself some slack. Do not punish yourself for not being your best self. This day too shall pass.
5. She is Kind and Gets Help When She Needs It
The happiest make it a regular part of their lives to help others, Parents revealed. It can be offering a ride to an elderly neighbor you see on your way out or making dinner for the mom with a new baby. In turn, when she needs help, she can ask for neighbors, friends, and families who are more than happy to return the favor. Also, sometimes the help you need is so close to you. Yes, that means asking your husband to take on the caring duties for a while so you can fold the laundry in peace.
6. She Gets Some Sun and Hangs with Friends
Some time in nature — fresh air, sunlight, and all can do good for moms. Going outside is said to be a critical mood enhancer for moms. So, go ahead and get your baby in the stroller or squeeze in an early morning walk. Even better, call a mom-friend and get lunch or coffee together. Happy moms are just that because they make time for meaningful and relaxing hang outs.
7. She Cares about Her Sleep and Nutrition
The moment moms learn to get their 8 hours of sleep back, they become happy moms. While it is unrealistic to ask a new mom to a newborn to quit being sleep-deprived, a helpful advice is to get as much sleep as you can. And, happy moms wake up to a healthy breakfast (think: fruit and oatmeal) instead of cup after cup of coffee that always seems to get cold before it hits your lips.
8. She Feels Good because She Exercises
When you take care of your body, your body takes care of you. How many moms look at their muffin tops and love handles and start to feel sad for themselves? While it can be tough to tell moms to get six-pack abs, it will not hurt to get in some cardio, strengthen your core (lifting your kids and furniture will be a breeze) and doing some muscle training a few days a week.
9. A Happy Mom Encourages Her Kids to Play on Their Own
While happy moms do get down on the play mat and play dollhouse and trains with their kids, they do not spend all day there. Happy moms know they need not constantly entertain their children because it can get overwhelming. Let your kids be bored. Encourage independent play. You will soon get more time for yourself and everything else when your kids learn to play independently.
10. She Enjoys Family Time
Happy moms cuddle longer, have game nights with their family, and have regular date nights every month. They designate time in their schedules to have quality bonding with each child and as a family. It helps to remind yourself why you are doing motherhood in the first place.