How long and how far will your kid go to fix any obstacles that come their way? How persistent are they to reach their goals? When parents want to learn how to teach children persistence, it is also wise to know the opposite of teaching persistence. What can go wrong with teaching kids diligence?
Previously, a parent received backlash over what was supposed to be a teaching moment. The child learned to persist in working a manual can opener to open the can of beans. The kid worked for hours with no assistance from her dad.
The opposite is true for some parents who opt to take care of matters for their children. Such parents may find it hard seeing their child having trouble or difficulty with something. So, they take over. However, such an approach may not teach a child to continue doing something longer than usual-which is to persist, according to Merriam Webster. The child knows at some point of encountering difficulty, the parent will fix it for him.
ALSO READ : 4 Steps to Becoming a More Resilient Parent
Research Reveals Wrong Way of How to Teach Child Persistence
Research from the University of Pennsylvania revealed that adults should resist their urge to step in when the child is trying to learn or master a task such as shoe-tying, Penn Today reported. Psychologist Allyson Mackey and postdoctoral Julia Leonard conducted an observational study on child persistence. They coded when parents encouraged their kids or told the kids not to quit and when parents took over and solved the puzzle. A second experiment was given only to the child with a puzzle box impossible to open. They wanted to see how long kids would try. They then determined that children are less likely to persist with the second experiment when adults take over. "Kids persisted far less in the taking-over group, which reveals how easily demotivated kids can get."
Further, the researchers found that kids try their hardest to see an adult's hard work leading to achievement. When the adult teaches the value of effort to reach achievement, this makes kids more persistent. Researcher Mackey revealed that the study came from personal experience, having kids under age 5. The thinking of such parents would be, "I do not think my child can do it so that I will do it for my child."
Ways to Teach Child Persistence
The National Association for the Education of Young Children offers tips on teaching child persistence, which includes advice to parents not to try to fix their kid's problem, Horizon Education Centers reported. Parents can work on building their child's confidence so they can persist in solving their own problems. Other ways to teach kids to be persistent include:
- Offer guidance and support when the child becomes frustrated.
- Provide the child with challenging activities such as problem-solving and math games.
- Give the child positive feedback.
- Do not over-praise the child.
- Teach a child how to set goals and work through them.
- Show the child the reverse process from achievement to the individual steps to get there.
- Model persistence.
Further, when children are not given challenging activities or receive negative feedback, they are less likely to master motivation. Yet, parents should be careful not to give the child too much praise like "You are so smart," which could also make them less likely to persist. Finally, remember that when parents are persistent in their goals and overcoming challenges, their children will follow suit.
