The pandemic indeed has tested the boundaries of "for better and for worse" for some married couples. Whereas, others have enjoyed rediscovering their partners this time.
Since pandemic pushes us to spend the most of our time with the same person in the same environment as within our own home, we must find a different kind of ways to live as parents, work, and or just get along with our partners. What couples now have is plenty of chances and time to work out those concerns they could have avoided together.
The bad news is that, under pressure-cooker circumstances, they now more or less have to hammer out those problems they might have been avoiding.
Pandemic brought stresses such as kids being away from school, yet not from school duties, and the financial strain of unexpectedly losing some of their income caused by households can drive couples over the brink. Even the fear of family members becoming ill, disputes over what constitutes social isolation, and confusion about how long this odd new routine will last are added to all that.
The effect on intimate relationships that the pandemic has had is being examined, so to say. Through a detailed study has yet to be completed, there have been some promising results.
6 Ways To Improve Your Marriage Amidst Pandemic
Cool Down with Criticisms
Now is not the time for faults to be pointed out. It's rarely the time to point out errors, but mid-crisis is egregious. Helen LaKelly Hunt, who invented the Imago marital counseling approach with her husband Harville Hendrix and wrote Having the Love You Want, suggests telling your partner three things you loved about them that day before going to sleep at night. And if you can't do that, it's just a lousy boudoir plan to list their failures. "You can't be critical if you want to be close," says Harville.
Let each other be more curious, not furious.
Suppose you feel like your spouse is not doing enough or has committed an act of personal treason, with all the new obligations of the coronavirus. In those cases, more likely, they are either busy, hungry or have motives that are invisible to you.
Do not fight or let your fits of anger fester in silence. Being vulnerable doesn't come easy with the enhanced reaction to remaining healthy. It is essential to listen to each other, share problems and concerns, and validate how they feel.
Keep your days planned but not tightly.
The best example for this is John Gottman has a history of asthma and pneumonia. Still, before the coronavirus hazard subsides, he won't leave the couple's home on Orcas Island, Washington. Julie has all the shopping done. On Sunday mornings, they suggest making a calendar and marking it with all the points where each partner has no flexibility and building from there. Ashley and Dave Willis have four children between the ages of 5 and 15 and are currently at school in Texas.
"Homeschooling has hit people hard," says Ashley. A whole new degree of pressure is introduced." She was a teacher, so she's in charge of education, but she calls on Dave to pick up stuff that he didn't do before." "That's triage mode," Dave says.
Remember to keep your arguments away from your kids.
Your children have no desire to see you fight. Just like how the Willises go for a drive or a stroll, often offering a list of items to photograph for their children to keep them busy. Ashley says, "Our best conversations are when we're walking." "Often people open up more on a walk because they're sided by side." The Gottmans used to sit in the bathroom on the floor where their daughter could not hear their complaints.
Keep your respect for each other's boundaries.
Your partner is undoubtedly a great guy, but in mind-reading, almost certainly garbage. Your needs need to be clarified, and you need to be precise.
Ensure boundaries and structure. It is essential to go to sleep and wake up every day simultaneously, even if your sleep cycle has been disturbed, like sleep and mental health are fundamentally related. Without adequate conditions for rest, such as stress, anxiety, and depression, it may flourish. When working from home, set clear boundaries between work and time for your relationship. It can be a crucial contributor to friction within a relationship when this gets muddled.
If other ways fail, try at least the comedy.
A pandemic causes a lot of different stress to every couple, but keeping a laugh at this situation is something soothing to your partner and certainly, stress-relieving.
