"Yelling belittles children and undermines the parent-child bond," Murray A. Straus, Ph.D., said.
Straus is the co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire in Durham. The main point of his statement is for parents to stop yelling. For your child, at one moment, you are his rational dad, and the next, you change into a horrible yelling psychopath.
In a short time, this technique to angry tirades works because they frighten kids. Yelling intimidates young children, combined with angry facial gestures, and they obey their parents because they only want them to stop yelling but not because they are pleased to do so.
For parents who thought yelling at children is right, when was the last time you felt better after someone screamed at you or the other way around? Yelling at children can be as damaging as hitting them physically. The physical and verbal discipline you give to your children has a frighteningly similar effect.
So why do parents need to stop yelling at their kids? Constant yelling at our children tends to lower their self-esteem and even increases the rate of depression. And on the parent's side, yelling has also become the most parentally stupid practice there is.
So what can parents do instead to discipline their children? You may want to read this article and consider it your handy diary to keep you from verbally losing your cool.
Here's what parents can do to stop the practice of yelling at their kids
Always try to be firm yet calm
Be clear, firm, and stick with the changes you make to express yourself to your children if you want to stop yelling. As parents, keep in mind that your objective is to be with your child and not be their opponent.
Understand your child and remember that you are working with your child to reduce defiance against you. The more you will think that this will happen, the more it will work.
Consider yourself as an emotional and behavioral coach for your kids. Don't worry; being a coach won't weaken you as a parent. When you turn yourself into coach mode, your parenting link to your child will surely improve.
Know what triggers your yelling
As a parent, you should know yourself well; the more generous you get to know the things that trigger you, the greater the chance of stopping them if you can recognize them Inside your work, for example, for instance, tiredness, stress, and exhaustion may trigger you to yell.
The same thing goes inside your house with your kids, and parents are more likely to lose their patience when drained and stress with the chores. Getting to know yourself and being aware of the things that trigger you will allow your mind to make decisions, plan, and prevent land mines.
Give warnings to your children first
Giving warning firsthand to your children lets them prepare for transition mentally, just like how they can't change pajamas yet because they are still indulged with lego. It will be okay to give them time or heads up that you are changing their routine at the moment so they can prepare.
Don't waste your time and energy in winning your argument against your child
Acknowledge your child's negative emotions as opportunities for parents to build a relationship of affection and teaching. Their feelings are not a threat to parents but a chance. Your objective is to have constructive conversations with your child.
Empathize with your child to understand the level of their emotion
Validate your child's emotions and understand what he's feeling. Saying, "I can see you're really frustrated right now," gives him the chance to talk and open up his emotion. Stop saying things like, "You're not supposed to feel frustrated."
Constantly adjust your expectation towards your child
As parents, always see to it that you understand the limits of your child. That means you give more time you spend with your child. If your child changes his mind and attitude, be versatile and adjust your plan and understand him.
