Is self-esteem the same as self-confidence? This article covers these concepts in-depth to help you tell them apart. We also offer tips for boosting them.
Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence: Differences & Tips for Boosting Both
What is the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence? Many people often use these terms interchangeably, yet they are in no way the same thing. While you might be high on confidence, it does not necessarily mean that you have high self-esteem.
This article clarifies these 2 concepts for you by defining each of them and highlighting their differences. We also tell you why people confuse these terms and give you tips for boosting your self-esteem and self-confidence.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem refers to how you regard yourself. It is an inward-facing emotional and cognitive evaluation of your worth and value that breeds acceptance and self-respect/appreciation.
How can you tell if someone is struggling with self-esteem?
People with self-esteem issues tend to say things such as:
- "I don't feel good about myself."
- "I am not good enough."
- "I am going to ruin this thing."
On a personal level, you can tell that you have self-esteem issues if you continuously regard yourself lowly. Low self-esteem is often a result of life happenings, from unhealthy relationships and family problems to trauma. Over time, these events create and ingrain the belief or thought that you have no value.
Healthy self-esteem simply implies that you view yourself favorably. People with good esteem do not feel the need to showcase their value with money and status or unhealthy behavioral patterns. They are self-respecting and work on improvement of their health and environment.
Moreover, those with high self-esteem do not fear rejection or failure. Of course, they can be hurt when these things happen, but they won't be damaged or undermined. They are resilient, more risk-tolerant, happy, lead a fulfilling life, and quick to forgive themselves and others.
What Is Self-Confidence?
Self-confidence is the confidence that you have in various aspects of your life. It is an outward-facing capability enabling you to interact with your social environment effectively.
You can be confident about different things, for example:
- Singing in front of a crowd
- Cooking for others
- Talking to strangers
Self-confidence is developed over time. It's made possible by the skills you have and the achievements that you've realized. The more experience you have with something, the more confident you will become of it.
Your self-confidence leads to accomplishments in certain things, which further builds your self-confidence in them. Compared to self-esteem, it's easier to build self-confidence.
What shows self-confidence?
- Acknowledging and having faith in your capabilities
- Being not afraid of being incorrect
- Being not judgmental
- Having faith that you can deliver your responsibilities
- Asking for assistance without hesitation
- Flexibility
Self-Confidence Vs. Courage
Self-confidence should not be confused with courage. Confidence comes from experience, knowing your abilities, and accepting who you are. Courage, on the other hand, comes from the unknown.
For example, it takes courage to skydive if you have never tried it before. You'll be confident of skydiving if you have done it before and have developed the skills for it.
Compared to confidence, courage demands more strength.
Does confidence mean outgoing? No. You can be shy and confident at the same time. The loudest people are not always the most confident on the inside.
Why Do People Confuse These Concepts?
Self-confidence vs. self-esteem: why the confusion?
Many people mix up these concepts because of how similar they are. They also manifest in a person simultaneously, and contrary to expectation, one might be high and the other low.
Several people do not know that it's possible to have high self-confidence and low self-esteem. An excellent illustration is below:
You might find that swimmer X is very confident about their swimming ability and proves it by performing well. However, their low self-esteem eats them up outside the sport, leading them to drug abuse and other unhealthy behavioral patterns.
The confusion associated with these concepts comes with various consequences. People might take specific actions to become more comfortable with themselves, only to discover a dead end.
For example, someone might need cosmetic surgery to reduce belly fat. After the process is done, the person might still not love themselves as much, and now they need a nose job.
In this case, while the person might appear to be confident on the surface, they have serious self-esteem issues on the inside.
So, no matter how many changes they make to their bodies and how confident they are of their abilities, they are still trying to make themselves more valuable to their eyes.
What Can Affect Your Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem and self-confidence are aspects you acquire over time as you experience life and interact with the world.
Several things may have an impact on your self-esteem as well as your self-confidence.
Childhood Experiences
As a child, building your personality and trying to figure yourself out, you tend to get influenced by what goes on around you.
Adverse experiences like getting teased in school, bullying, or constant enduring criticism from family can affect your self-esteem to adulthood.
Society and the Media
Society and the media often place unrealistic expectations on people and end up damaging their self-esteem. You are repeatedly told who and where you should be.
Expectations about your job, relationship, income, etc., can put pressure on you. If you can't meet all these unreasonable expectations, your self-confidence falls, and you feel like you are not good enough.
People Around You
The people you surround yourself with can also have an impact on your sense of self-worth. Such people could include your parents, siblings, partner, colleagues, and even friends.
If the people you spend your time with are constantly tearing you down, your self-confidence and self-image will take a nosedive.
Other Factors That Harm Your Self-Image
The factors mentioned above can have a negative or positive influence on who you are. However, some experiences are usually detrimental to one's self-esteem.
These include:
- Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse
- Physical and psychological issues that affect your normal functioning
- Discrimination and stigmatization
- Extreme peer pressure
- A stressful life event such as money troubles
- Family or marital problems
- The pressure to excel in academics, sports, etc.
Tips to Help You Boost Your Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
Low self-esteem and self-confidence aren't permanent and can be solved. However, it will take time and significant effort. Slowly, you can implement changes to your life that will improve self-confidence.
Below are some steps to improve your self-esteem and become more confident.
Give Up On Self-Comparison
We often make the mistake of determining our worth off of what we see in others. But remember that people are different, and everyone is battling their own demons behind what you see in public.
You have value in your own right, with your strengths as well as limitations.
Analyze Your Negative Self-Talk
Anytime you think something critical about yourself, stop and objectively assess how true it is. If you don't trust yourself to be objective, discuss it with the people you trust.
You will find out that, more often than not, negative self-criticism is usually baseless.
Remind Yourself of Your Unique Qualities
Everyone has unique attributes. To battle low moments and keep your thoughts positive, remind yourself of your unique qualities often.
It would help to write them down somewhere and read them before you start your day.
Become More Assertive
Assertiveness is basically standing up for yourself. Communicate your feelings, opinions, needs, and beliefs directly and honestly. While it will take some time, becoming more assertive will build your self-confidence.
Learn to Let Go of the Past
Holding on to past failures, disappointments, heartbreaks, and pains will prevent you from overcoming low self-esteem and self-confidence.
So, practice concentrating on the now. Try to create goals and focus on achieving them as a way to stay grounded.
Spend Time with People That Make You Happy
Set boundaries with people who make you doubt yourself and spend time with those who make you happy. Do the things that you enjoy with people with whom you can be yourself around.
Get Help from Online Therapy
Online therapy can help you work on your self-esteem and self-confidence. A therapist will listen to you and help you identify the underlying causes of your low self-esteem so that you can work on it.
If you feel like you need to work on your self-esteem or self-confidence, you can try online therapy on Calmerry. You'll find a therapist who can help you to observe and avoid false beliefs about yourself objectively. You'll start accepting an amazing person - yourself.
Final Thoughts
You can struggle with low self-esteem or low self-confidence, or both. And knowing the difference between self-esteem vs. self-confidence can help you work out your issues more effectively.
If you or a friend is struggling with self-worth issues, the above tips can definitely help. For support, care, and advice on overcoming self-esteem and self-confidence issues, e-therapy is also perfect.
Author: Kate Skurat
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Washington, United States
Kate has a B.S. in Psychology and M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and has worked in healthcare since 2017. She primarily treated depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, and grief, as well as identity, relationship and adjustment issues. Her clinical experience has focused on individual and group counseling, emergency counseling and outreach. https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-skurat-5348381b9/
