Dating a medical professional such as a doctor or a nurse is never easy, so you will often find articles in magazines and blog posts about how to manage expectations while planning one's future with a nurse. However, very few of them ever take up the subject from a nurse's own point of view. How is a professional who deals with life and death situations regularly, and through impossible hours, supposed to maintain a relationship? It is difficult, and there is no denying it.
Taking a different approach, we are going to delve deeper into the core issues which make it so difficult for nurses themselves to date and/or maintain a relationship. We also have a few useful tips from experienced nursing professionals with successful marriages, which should help towards making them more manageable as well. Do read on as we go through the nitty gritty aspects of dating, love, relationships, problems and more for nurses next.
Problem: Lack of Time for Loved Ones
As most professionals who spend a lot of time outside their home and away from their family will tell you, they cherish the little time they do get to spend with their family and always regret their inability to spend more time with them. Nurses are no exception to that rule either, and given the nature of their jobs, spending so much time close to human suffering and death makes that longing even intense. However, due to the odd hours and the unpredictability of shifts, lack of time is the biggest obstacle to doing that.
In other words, the professional life becomes too demanding and eats into their personal time. This was always true to some degree for RNs even before the pandemic, but post-covid, the problem has become overwhelmingly apparent. Whereas previously, only emergency nurses had to face the worst of it, after the pandemic, nearly everyone has turned into an emergency nurse, based on the current situation. Right now, nurses need to be more careful about handling their personal attachments for more reasons than one!
Solution: Timing, Communication and Discussion
If you can relate to the problems we just discussed about not having enough time, then you need to take the three pronged approach.
Timing - If you are only just thinking about dating again, make sure that you time it well. Understand and accept that your partner will expect certain things from you and in order to provide most of them, you will need to have time for them. If the pandemic situation is forcing you to work too much right now, it might be better to hold off on that idea for the time being. Start dating again, when you know that you will have some time on your hands, especially during the early phases of the relationship.
Communication - As a nurse, you can never tell when you will be back on a hectic schedule again and that's where communication comes in next. During the initial phases of dating, prepare your partner for the more demanding times by telling them what they would have to deal with once those long shifts and unpredictable hours start hitting again. If your partner is serious about you, that communication will go a long way towards keeping things together at the most challenging of times. Instead of complaints, you are more likely to find support when you return home. Understand that communication does not end with simply preparing them, but it must also be an ongoing process. This is where the third prong of the solution will be necessary.
Discussions - Discussions are extensions of your communication habits, but they can only be had when the relationship has reached a certain place of maturity. Discussions in this context are going to be sessions where you let your partner in on the details of the job and everything that you face at work. It is still communication, but on a much deeper level. Understand that the discussions are not just about you venting or trying to tell them how hard your job is! They are supposed to act as bonding time as well, so it's often better if you let them speak about what they want to share as well. The idea is to share experiences, discuss problems, plan solutions, plan for the future and, in the process, keep the bond between the two of you strong.
Problem: Managing Children, a Job and Higher Education
As most people do, it is only natural to assume that you and your partner might have plans to start a family sometime in the future. Perhaps you have a child already in your arms while you read this, which would mean that you already know how difficult, if not impossible it is to hold a job, pursue better opportunities through higher education, and take care of a family. Most nurses give up on the higher education, because the other two are indispensable.
Solution: Pursue an Autonomous Career Online
Nurse practitioners (NPs) can open their own clinics, prescribe medication and most importantly, set their own hours. Even if you do not live in a state which allows full autonomy to experienced FNPs and other NPs, you will be able to assume leadership positions in nursing departments after completing your master's degree as a nurse practitioner. Either way, you should be in more control of your time as a nursing leader than you can ever be as a regular RN.
Most importantly for qualifying nurses who are trying to find a balance between family, work and their current job, they can complete the degree online. You can complete a master's degree in Family Nurse Practitionership or get a Post-Master's Certificate (PMC) in FNP from the Carson-Newman University online. The CCNE accreditation makes their certificates valid across all 50 US states, while the university itself has been awarded multiple accolades by the likes of Yellow Ribbon, US News and College Atlas to name a few, for offering concise, flexible and potentially life-changing nursing programs.
Unfortunately, relationship and family issues can prop up at any time and for any reason, since nurses are not the only ones who find it difficult to hold relationships together! Nevertheless, as far as problems specific to the profession itself is concerned, these few pointers should at least help for keeping them in check.
