Parents have a lot on their plate. They barely have time for self-care—which they have to pencil in on top of their laundry list of To-Dos. But why should they make an effort to make adult friends, reconnect with good old friends, and maintain deep positive relationships?
Well, if for nothing more than our physical and mental health, we should make friendships a priority.
The Loneliness Epidemic
More than a third of Americans over 45 years old suffer from chronic loneliness. Such data led Vivek Murthy, former Surgeon General, to declare a public health epidemic in 2017.
When it comes to parents and loneliness, researchers from the Family and Childcare Trust found that more than half of parents with children under the age of 5 feel lonely. Even before the pandemic, parents already felt isolated and left out. These feelings were even more apparent with parents in the lowest income brackets.
Those are the statistics, but what is the result? INC reported that lonely people are at a 50% higher risk of premature death than people with healthy social connections. It was even more lethal than smoking—lonely people are at as much risk as those who smoke 15 cigarettes a day.
Loneliness also reduces immunity—which we all need the most during the pandemic. Loneliness can increase the risk of inflammation and, therefore, diseases and chronic health conditions.
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Realizing the Importance of Adult Friendships
"We Need to Hang Out" author Billy Baker discussed the importance of reviving old friendships as well as making new friends. While it can be more challenging to maintain friendships as people age—due to careers, family, and businesses, neglect of friendships can result in dire consequences. Baker realized this when his editor assigned him to write a story on loneliness among middle-aged men.
It never struck the author that he was affected by loneliness. He first rationalized that being a middle-aged man with a wife and kids meant it was not unusual not to get time to see friends. But then it hit him, those he has not seen, those he considered his best friends in years. He also came to realize that the cure to loneliness is friendships, WPR noted.
There was one barrier that, fortunately, the author was able to get out of the way-reaching out to old friends. "For some reason, we think saying something like, "Hey buddy, miss you. We should hang out' is not a thing to do." But when he reached out, he realized his closest friends from a long time ago was thinking the same thing.
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Long-Term Health Benefits of Deep Relationships with Adult Friends
Why consider reconnecting with good friends or making new friends and developing healthy relationships when you become parents? As busy as our lives are, we parents cannot overlook the benefits of relationships with friends our age.
A 75-year study conducted by Harvard found that good relationships keep people healthier and happier. A lack of social relationships results in a significant health risk factor. They found that isolation is toxic and loneliness kills. The researchers then recommended that the essential kind of friendship is an enriching relationship—quality over quantity.
Disappointing or negative social interactions with friends and family resulted in poorer health. Meanwhile, healthy social connections are linked to the relief of harmful stress levels, boosting the immune system, and insulin regulation, among others.
When the participants aged, those with solid relationships stayed in better moods even when they were dealing with physical pain from old age. Further, a Swedish study on people over the age of 75 reported that people with a variety of satisfying friendships and relationships had the lowest risk of dementia, Harvard Health said.
