The parents of a 20-year-old mom were unsupportive of her decision to give up her son with autism for adoption after raising him for two years, believing that she was making an incredibly selfish decision.
According to the story, the mother, who remained anonymous, chose to put her son up for adoption because she and the baby's father could not financially provide for him. After finding a family who "fell in love" with their son, the mother said they discussed their decision with her family.
However, her parents were against their plan. They told her that "it would have been better" if she had miscarried and did not give birth to the baby at all.
Read Also: Birth Mother Meets Daughter She Gave up for Adoption 19 Years Ago After Sister Spots Her in the Mall
Struggling With an Unplanned Pregnancy
The mother said that she and her fiancé got together at 17 and 19 years old in college. Because she grew up in a big family, where babies were born "almost every year," she and her partner were conscious of not having kids.
But because birth controls are not 100 percent effective, the young girl got pregnant and confirmed her condition passed the three-month mark. She said that she could no longer have an abortion and proceeded with the unplanned pregnancy.
After the baby's birth, the mother said that she didn't bond with her child. Because she and the father were juggling school and work simultaneously, they were having a tough time with their roles as parents.
When the baby was two years old, the couple found out that he was on the autism spectrum, and that's when she and her partner sat down together to discuss the adoption.
"My now fiancé and I told our families about our decision and both of them told us we were being selfish and destroying our families," the young woman said.
Reaction to their couple's decision was divided. While some people sided with the couple for ensuring that their child would have a better life, others wondered why they waited until the boy was two years old to give him up for adoption.
"You waited until your child was old enough to remember you and bond with you, and then you reject him and send him away," one commenter said.
Ultimately, however, the couple pushed through with open adoption, which meant that they could still see their son, who will grow up to call his birth parents as aunt and uncle. The mother also said that her boy would be told the truth about his adoption in due time.
The Challenges of Adoption
Meanwhile, a report from The Atlantic has revealed that adoption has become more challenging today than a few decades ago because only one percent of parents give up their kids, compared to nearly nine percent in the mid-70s.
Today, the trend reflects a shortage of "adoptable" babies because of the changing social and geopolitical climate, where infant adoption faces stringent restrictions and reforms. Many adoption programs have shut down because of corruption, scandals, and tension with different agencies. Many agencies have also shifted their focus on educating potential birth moms, especially women of color, to raise their own children or have their relatives take care of the baby.
