Discussion in an internet community has been set afire by a mother who refused to let her daughter say goodbye to a pet dog because this meant going against her custody arrangement with her ex-husband.
In a post on Reddit, the unnamed mom shared that her ex asked if he could pick up their daughter one day earlier than his schedule. He figured that their nine-year-old, Claire, would want to see his elderly dog before the animal is put to permanent sleep by the veterinarian.
The mom shared that Clarie grew up with this animal during their marriage, but the pet remained her husband's. After their divorce, Claire's father would call her up so she could video chat with him and the dog. It was a ritual between daughter and father that the mom thought was a bit extreme, but she never got in the way of it.
However, when her ex-husband asked for this favor, the mom initially thought to turn it down because they would be going against their custody arrangement. She also reasoned that her husband refused to watch their daughter once during a work emergency.
"I didn't see why this was different," the mom said.
A Spiteful Move
After turning down her ex, he directly got in touch with their daughter to let her know of the dying dog. This made the mom more upset because she felt that her ex went behind her back, which was against their co-parenting agreement. Worse, Claire also became mad at her mom for not allowing her to say goodbye to the dog.
So, she posted her sentiments online for advice on managing the situation. However, the mother got more honesty than she bargained for by sharing her story.
Redditors had more support for her ex-husband, who called out her move overly dramatic, cruel, petty, and ultimately against their daughter's interest. One commenter said it seemed like the mom was seeking control and wanted revenge when she should be thinking about their daughter's emotional well-being first.
Another member pointed out that she cannot use the custody arrangement as a reason to prevent Claire from seeing a beloved pet one last time.
"What if a relative died? 'Oh sorry, can't go to the funeral. It's not on the schedule," the Redditor said. "These are the things that drive kids apart from their parents."
Some Redditors were more helpful with their advice and said that perhaps the mom could bring Claire herself to not affect their custody arrangement. One member said that the important thing is that the child will get the chance to say goodbye to the dog so she can process her grief properly.
After some time, the mother updated her post and said that she was being short-sighted. She also acknowledged that her frustrations about her ex were negatively affecting her daughter. The mom eventually worked it out with Claire's dad, who will pick her up a day before his schedule and return her to his mom a day earlier as well.
Joint Custody Agreement
According to Newsweek, the couple likely had a joint legal custody agreement, the most common and most equitable arrangement between co-parents. Such an arrangement gives divorced parents equal responsibilities to make crucial decisions for the sake of their child's wellbeing.
Joint legal custody also has children splitting their time between two homes. Arrangements may vary per state and specific situations, but more often than not, parents deviate from their agreements. This deviation may have to undergo a further legal process in some cases.
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