Neve Campbell, 48, shared in an interview on "The Kelly Clarkson Show" that she and her husband, JJ Field, told their son, Raynor, that he was adopted "from the very beginning."
When Clarkson asked why she told him this early, the Scream star disclosed that she had read about the topic a lot. Campbell thinks that keeping the adoption a secret until they turn 21, like what was done "back in the day," shatters their reality.
"..The guidance that I had was even before they understand the language, talk about their birth mother, talk about their story. Tell them who they are," she added.
Because of her early disclosure about the adoption, "it's no surprise for Raynor in any sense whatsoever," Campbell said.
Photos of the birth mother
Raynor knows his biological mother well as he had photos of her. Campbell asked Raynor's birth mother for photos or a letter about herself even before birth.
His birth mother then made an entire album of photos that tells about herself, her life, and what she likes.
Campbell said that knowing his birth mother's interests helped Raynor connect with her, and such a link is essential.
The host, Kelly Clarkson, agreed with Campbell, adding that Raynor must know he is loved from the beginning.
Telling the child about the adoption
According to Family Lives, a non-profit organization that provides targeted early intervention and crisis support to struggling families, there isn't a right time to tell the child that they are adopted. However, the organization suggests that it is best to say to them as early as possible.
Breaking it to them the soonest prevents the child from learning about the adoption from anyone else or gives them an impression that their adoption is terrible.
The organization stresses the importance of making the adoptive child optimistic about their adoption. It is also essential to reassure them and make them feel accepted and loved by their parents and family.
The adoptive parent should also expect their child to constantly ask about their biological parents and why they sent them for adoption.
Family lives also advise parents not to tell their child about hurtful details about their biological parents. These pieces of information may range from violence, neglect, or abuse, as it would make them feel bad about themselves. As they grow older, the questions may keep coming, but adoptive parents must always be prepared and positive in answering these questions.
Family lives also share these tips on how to tell the kids about adoption:
- The child may appear calm when you tell them about the adoption. It is crucial to be prepared and watch out for their reactions later.
- Prepare for the questions that the child may ask.
- Give your child your full attention when you talk to them about adoption. Avoid interruptions like calls or social media interactions.
- The child becoming angry is a natural reaction. They may be feeling confused. Be compassionate and patient.
