It's not unusual for parents to hear that their child wants to quit sports. While many parents may initially react by encouraging their son or daughter to stick with it, some experts said it might be wiser to let them stop.
Cindy T. Graham, a clinical psychologist, told Huffington Post that kids forced to play a sport when they want to quit will learn to "diminish their own intuition, thoughts, and feelings." It will also teach them to put other people's wishes first while downplaying their own needs.
Phyllis L. Fagell, a school counselor from Maryland, wrote in Psychology Today that quitting is often misconceived as a cowardly act. However, insisting that a child continues to play the sport may lead to their misery, which essentially tells them that they should tolerate bad situations. Fagell said this notion should be reframed into teaching children to be "more in control of their fate."
Here's what parents can do if they learn that their child wants to quit sports:
1. Probe into the reasons.
There could be a million reasons why the child wants to quit, and it's the parents' responsibility to know these reasons by having an honest and non-judgmental conversation with their son or daughter. However, parents need to be specific with their questions because most kids will simply reply "I don't know" or "Just because...." when asked why.
Someone could be hurting or bullying them in the game, or there might be aspects of the sport that makes them uncomfortable. Also, ask the child if they still want to play but with another team or a different sport to give a better idea of what next steps to take.
2. Talk to the coach
Insights from the coach or trainers will also help parents figure out how to help their children. Maybe their son or daughter is experiencing burnout and might need a break from the sport for a few weeks.
The talk with the coach will also give parents an idea if their child is in the right team or the right game. Some kids might excel in team activities, like football or basketball, but other children shine if they compete in individual games like tennis or chess. The parents should guide their kids to figure this out by talking to the coaches.
3. Re-assess your child's abilities.
While participating in sports may bring loads of positive experiences, it will also be good for the child to experiment with other after-school activities. It's natural for children to find their own niche as this can be a learning process. Quitting does not always have to be seen as a failure, as it is also part of their growth and development.
Dr. George Scarlett, the author of "The Baseball Starter: A Handbook for Coaching Children and Teens," said that "commitment" to sports among kids below 10 years old isn't a factor in their reasons. Most kids in this age group join teams for fun, friendships, or even the chance to exercise. Thus, parents should not push their kids to stick it out if they want to quit.
