One of the essentials of the long journey into parenthood is patience, but being a patient parent is not easy. According to a feature in Fatherly, parenthood is a prolonged exercise in patience. Being expectant parents, up until the child is born and develops from an infant to a toddler, then later on into a child, is a test of patience.
As an infant, parents have to sleep train a baby, prepare them for potty training, and even dressing up a child requires miles and miles of parental patience. Plus, there is also a need to pack extra patience to clean up after a child and stay zen when the child is at the end of their short wicks and throws tantrums.
Patience help achieve goals
Parents tend to blow up when they are at their wit's end. Of course, it is inevitable. Despite being an essential virtue, it cannot be easily activated, especially when one is already stressed and overfatigued by work plus caring for a child. It can be pretty stressful for parents because it is not simple to care for a child.
Some people think that just because patience is not their strong suit, it will always be the way it is. However, according to Dr. Sarah A. Schnitker, a psychology professor at Baylor University, patience does not just increase overall life satisfaction, self-esteem, relational health, and hope. It also can help a person achieve their goals.
Wait Calmly Despite Adversity and Frustration
A study featured on APA PsycNet, about the virtue of patience by Dr. Schnitker entitled "Modeling the effects of within-person characteristic and goal-level attributes on personal project pursuit over time," and was published in the Journal of Research and Personality, studied the methodological constraints of previous goal pursuits. The researchers tried to explore the behavioral mechanisms that are underlying these pursuits.
According to Dr. Schnitker's team's research featured on Science Direct, an essential factor of whether or not a personal project will be accomplished or will be successful is the extent to which a person can maintain the required patience to pursue a project. Virtue researchers operationalize patience as the capacity of a person to wait calmly despite facing adversities, frustration, or suffering.
Remain Calm Despite Frustration
Similarly, Dr. Schnitker says you can accomplish your goals faster with your child if you stay patient and regulated. For example, if a mother or father tries potty training with a child, the child suddenly has a slip up after several training attempts. A patient parent can ensure that they remain calm despite frustrating situations.
Practice Cognitive Reappraisal or shift in the meaning of events
According to Dr. Schnitker, one of the ways to improve patience is through cognitive reappraisal or changing the meaning of a situation without changing it objectively. Sometimes parents think that their kid is trying to test their patience by acting up. However, when a parent practices cognitive reappraisal, one realigns their thoughts to reality. Instead of falling into the edge, a parent can somehow walk backward through this exercise.
Another way to extend patience is by regularly reflecting on difficult moments to practice a different way of thinking and deciding how to handle things differently, especially if one loses their cool to their children. Schnitker also recommends implementation intention to use "if/then" statements when dealing with children, such as, "if my child does this, I will..." When a parent plans what to do in moments that can cause incredible frustration, a parent does not have to figure out what to do. Identifying triggers, thinking with purpose, and being mindful are all essential.
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