At some point, many parents will struggle when their curious and adorable school children turn into rude and angry teenagers. While many experts will say that this is a natural phase and likely part of puberty, mothers and fathers still need to get a hold of these changes before they become a major problem in the family.
Behind these angry teenagers are young and idealistic kids who may be unable to handle their disappointments, sadness, and frustrations as they face new issues in life. Thus, teens act out to deal with their feelings, much like toddlers going through temper tantrums.
Here's how parents should help and deal with their rude and angry teenagers:
Be empathic.
Social worker and mental health expert Tiffany Nielsen said via Utah Healthcare that angry teenagers need to be validated. Thus, it's the parents' job to be empathic and understand or figure out where the anger comes from.
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At this stage, downplaying what they feel or urging them to "calm down" when they are upset with something or someone may only rile up their anger further. Instead, acknowledge that they are hurt or upset by saying things like, "I would be hurt too if this happened to me" or "I understand you're upset because I asked you to do your homework first."
Angry teenagers need their parents to carry what they feel so they can manage their emotions better. When their feelings are validated, they will be more receptive to any suggestions and guidance instead of looking at their parents' efforts to help as a threat.
Find them outlets to channel their anger.
According to Good Housekeeping, constructive activities like walking, boxing, music, or writing in a journal are just some of the ways angry teenagers can manage their emotions, especially if they are ready to pounce on a sibling for whatever reason. Some meditation and relaxation technics are also effective tools for releasing anger.
They need outlets that will help blow off steam so they won't be overwhelmed by their feelings. When habitually done over time, these outlets become the coping mechanisms that will teach them how to appraise themselves.
Kids who are not guided to find constructive outlets are at risk of looking for negative coping mechanisms such as alcohol or drugs.
Establish time-outs.
Time-outs allow angry teenagers to get a breather, especially if things get heated in their arguments with a parent or sibling. Allow your kids to cool down by emphasizing that the discussion can't move on if they are too angry and combative.
According to Very Well Family, parents aren't supposed to follow their kids if they are on a time-out. However, be sure to agree to reset the conversation about the issue once cooler heads have prevailed.
Listen to your teenager.
Psychologist Dr. Mitch Abblett said that listening to teens vent their anger doesn't mean agreeing with what they are saying. It simply means that parents are willing to hear their side or point of view of the situation.
By listening, the parents also let their angry teenagers know that they are open and accessible. Teenagers need to feel heard and respected for their opinions, which is another form of validation.
However, if the anger verges on the teens turning violent or hurting themselves, guidance from a professional therapist or psychologist may be necessary. Discuss the matter as a family and make your teen see that this is the best way for them to deal with their emotions.
