Stay-at-home moms would usually get questions like "so what do you do all day?" or a remark like "it must be nice not to have to work." Some people may not realize that feeding, caring for the children, making and serving meals and snacks, or cleaning and constantly tidying without outside help is full-time work.
Society has placed heavy expectations on stay-at-home parents. Themomsatodd.com said that common myths of the stay-at-home mom include a spic-and-span home, having the luxury of time, being able to handle everything and that they do not need a break.
Here are three everyday pressures of stay-at-home moms:
The need to be a supermom
A Reddit user shared that since she does not have a job, she should be a supermom, have a freelancing job, and make good money. She also feels that she should keep a clean house and still value herself. She thinks it is too much for her with all these expectations, and admitting it is truly embarrassing. The Reddit user realizes that the pressure makes her "constantly on edge," prone to anger, and feeling completely exhausted.
Samantha Nelson, a mom from New Hampshire, says she does homemade baby food and home-cooked meals and makes sure that everything is perfect because she is embarrassed that she does not have a job. Later, she realized that it was all too much.
Feeling like not doing enough
Katherine Stone, the founder of Postpartum Progress, said she once had an anxiety attack after feeling overwhelmed by the idea that she should have activities with the kids the whole day. She looks at other moms and feels ashamed that she could not home school or do all sorts of plans and activities for her kid. She said she gets burdened by the rock star pressure and admits to succumbing, Today reports.
Not seeking support
A parent said that when an employee says she has burnout, the company encourages them to take time away from their jobs. Stay-at-home parents, however, barely have a break. When stay-at-home moms share how exhausted they are or how badly they need a break, most people would just shut their feelings, as though they could not be burnt out unless it makes money.
A mom shared that she does not want to take anxiety medication as she needs to hire a babysitter to watch their kids while paying to go to the doctor and pay for the medication. She also feels that money for the babysitter and the medicine would be better if spent on something else.
As per the Parent, there is a need to discuss openly the stay-at-home expectations and how these affect the mom's mental health. Society has placed heavy standards on all mothers, but for moms who do not work for pay, the expectations of how they should run their homes, parent their kids, and manage everything is impossible. These high expectations cause a toll on women's mental health and self-esteem.
We need to adjust these expectations.
It is about time that the noble, never-ending job of stay-at-home parents be given due recognition. Most of all, its support systems need strengthening and have to be streamlined as normal.
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