Miscarriages in the United States are fairly common. At least 15 to 20 percent of pregnant women go through the ordeal, according to the National Institutes of Health, but it is a situation that is hard to talk about and discuss with friends and family.
Psychologist Jessica Zucker knows the ordeal too well. She experienced miscarriage back in 2012, when she lost her second child during the sixteenth week of her pregnancy. Her ordeal was even more traumatic as she was all alone in the house when it happened. She cut the baby's umbilical cord herself, while bleeding inside the bathroom, according to The Daily Beast.
What Zucker noticed as she mourned the loss of her daughter was that people around her didn't or couldn't express any sympathy. If they did, they said the wrong words. "I think we live in a society where we really struggle to kind of honestly digest the intensity and normalcy of this kind of loss," she said, according to Today. "In the cases of pregnancy loss or miscarriage, they don't know this potential person and that is part of why we don't know exactly what to do."
Zucker heard the same sentiments from her patients who have also miscarried and many felt the isolation. "I was incredibly disheartened that we couldn't get this right," she said according to Yahoo Health. "For instance, the level of isolation after losing a baby at 40 weeks is incredible. But after a miscarriage, so many friends or family will say, 'I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything at all.'"
So, the psychologist she came up with a solution and created a line of empathy cards to send to women or couples who have lost a baby through miscarriage. "I am really making these because of what I wanted to receive," she told Today.
Many of the cards have a personal tone, but some also carry honest messages. "There's a card that reads: 'I'm sorry I've been MIA. I didn't know what to say. I'll do better. I am here.' I plan to send that card to every person I know who's been through this. I want to say more now," she told Yahoo.
"I do hope these cards widen and deepen the cultural conversation. They're not therapy, but I'd just love to reach people," added Zucker. "These cards are daring us to sit with the uncomfortability of what it means to be alive."
