A woman wondered if she was at fault after she served her husband's family macaroni and cheese when they visited their baby for the first time.
The woman sought Reddit's "Am I the A****** (AITA) forum to answer her confusion. The new mom said she had just had a baby and was too exhausted to host visitors, including her in-laws. Her husband, however, invited her in-laws over for dinner and demanded that she cook for them. Too weary for a daunting task, she served the family mac and cheese, outraging them, In the Know Parenting reports.
Busy with the baby
The woman said that her husband, an Asian, and she, an American, had their firstborn four weeks ago. The baby is healthy, but she admitted to being exhausted. She could not even care for herself, fix her hair, shower often, and sleep. Her husband's parents pressured the couple to let them visit and meet the baby, but she told her husband to hold it off. The house was a mess, she also confessed. She was surprised that her hubby invited his family for dinner one night. She was embarrassed and felt like she was not ready for visitors.
Her husband sat with them while she fed her son. She asked her husband if they should order takeout for dinner. He replied "NO" because her in-laws would find it rude and unwelcoming. Instead, he asked her to prepare anything as long as it was "homemade."
She said she cooked mac and cheese as it was the easiest meal she could prepare. When she served the family, her mother-in-law looked appalled. She asked if she found it "appropriate" to serve her family mac and cheese. She replied, "why not?" Her mother-in-law then ranted that what she did was disrespectful and that she has no experience in what is right and wrong when it comes to hosting.
The new mom then asked the mother-in-law who signed up to host an expected visit from the family. She said she took it as she did not want a visit from them. The husband further explained they were just there to see the baby she had kept them from seeing for a month. The couple argued until the visitors decided to leave.
The husband explained that serving the family with mac and cheese was more offensive than doing nothing. She told them that she was too exhausted to cook their "traditional feasts," which she was forced to learn from his mom. Her husband said she was being mean and disrespectful to his family and culture. She went to the bedroom to stay with their son. Meanwhile, her husband phoned the family for an hour, gave her the cold shoulder, and refused to eat that mac and cheese she had prepared.
Per the Reddit post, the woman wondered what was wrong with mac and cheese.
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Lack of empathy
Redditors assured the new mom that she was not at fault. A user said that the husband and the parents lacked empathy.
Two Asian users said the husband's family should bring the new mom food, not the other way around. No one would expect an exhausted new mother to cook a feast for the family, the Asian Redditor commented.
Asian or not, Mother Mag advises families and friends visiting new moms to ask ahead of time if it is okay to pay a visit and never come empty-handed.
