Craig Melvin recently admitted that he reconciled with his dad, who struggled with addiction throughout his childhood, hoping to become a better dad.
Melvin shared to In Kindred by Parents, a digital community dedicated to Black families, that he wanted to break the cycle of unhealthy parenting behavior, and forgiveness was the key, People reports.
The quest to become a great dad
Today's co-host said that every guy aims to be a great dad. But if you grew up in a house with no father or father figure or dad, "how is it reasonable to expect that you can be a great father?" he asked.
Craig, a father to Delano, 8, and Sybil, 5, with his wife, Lindsay Czarniak, shared that forgiveness was the key to breaking the cycle of unhealthy parenting behavior.
He admitted he needed to forgive his father because he was angry at him. He was also annoyed at his mom for putting up with him, acknowledging that his relationship with his dad was like a cold war.
The cold war with his dad was not the relationship he wanted his son to witness; he also wanted his children to get to know their grandfather better. Hence, he chose to forgive his dad and reconciled with him.
It was a difficult process, but he recalled that years ago, his therapist said that when one becomes a parent, a parent's important goal is not to "screw them up" and not put all your baggage on them.
He decided to break the cycle of unhealthy parenting, and he was glad he did. After the reconciliation, Craig said that his dad sought professional help from a substance abuse facility and has been sober since.
Forgiving his father allowed him to know his old man better. He says his dad is "the kind of grandfather I wish I had as a father." Now, the NBC journalist is proud that since their reconciliation, his father made up for the lost time in a big way.
Craig wrote a book, "Pops," about his struggle with his dad.
Forgiving an alcoholic parent
Dana Hinders of Waypoint Recovery Center said forgiving a parent with substance abuse issues is not easy. However, it is a vital process to move forward in life. The substance abuse center advises that until one let go of the pain in the past, it is impossible to live in the present.
Still, the resentment towards the parent is understandable, especially if the addiction harmed them in their formative years. But parenting is complex, and no parent is perfect. Even parents who have no substance abuse also screw up.
Difficult as it may seem, Gateway Foundation suggested ways to forgive a recovering or alcoholic parent so affected children can move past anger and into a life of forgiveness.
The center advised these children to actively choose to forgive, remember good memories with their parents, and learn to understand substance abuse disorder.
Like curbing unhealthy parenting habits, stopping the destructive cycle of alcohol addiction can start with learning how to forgive an alcoholic parent.
