Every parent will experience their child lying to them, and short of breaking out a lie-detector test or wishing their pointy noses grow, it's usually not easy to catch the lie. However, a body language expert and an interrogation professional have shared some tell-tale signs that a child is lying to their parents.
Speaking with The Mirror, Darren Stanton, who has 20 years of experience reading people's body language, said that the lies kids tell their parents are usually connected with their emotions. Parents may notice the red flags in how their children fiddle with their hands and the clarity in their voices.
A child who is not telling the truth will usually hide their hands, fidget with a toy, and speak in a high-pitched voice. Apparently, in psychology, hiding the hands is regarded as a negative sign.
On the other hand, kids who speak like they are trying hard might be hiding or covering up something. If they are nervous, their vocal cords could tighten, thus changing their tone.
Other signs of lying include avoiding eye contact, touching the face, or repeating their parents' questions to stall the confrontation. They could also be rambling off because they try but fail to sound more believable.
Draw out the truth instead of finding the lies
However, Joe Navarro, a former special investigator with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), said it's better to draw out the truth than to figure out the child's lies. He discourages intimidating techniques like standing up front with a rigid neck and arms crossed because the child will be more afraid to speak to the parent in this manner.
Instead, Navarro suggested sitting down side-by-side and speaking face-to-face with the child. This way, they will be more cooperative and talk to their mom or dad.
"It goes from an interrogation to a conversation, and you're going to have a better opportunity to get the truth," he said, per Fatherly.
The investigator also said children learn to lie earlier if they have emotionally unstable parents or in families with many kids, where one of the children is constantly picked on. He said that parents should build trust with their kids when they are still younger and have less complicated issues because, by the time they are teenagers, their deception will get better if these are not appropriately addressed.
Kids lie to avoid trouble, or they're too upset
According to Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein via Psychology Today, children lie for many different reasons, but it generally involves not getting into trouble with their parents. Some children, however, don't tell the truth because they are too upset about a certain experience.
Bernstein said that he often tells parents not to take the lies personally during therapy sessions. He said that adults must see themselves as the "emotional coach" than a disciplinarian.
The psychologist also stressed that this is not a quick fix. For some children, leveling up to their parents might take some time, especially if they are not adept at creating a calm and emotionally safe space for their kids.
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