Unlike adults, children might seem to make friends and get along quickly because they don't have any qualms or feelings of vulnerability. However, some children may be too shy or introverted to initiate a new friendship in school because they don't know how to approach the other kids.
When your child seems to be by herself during recess or school breaks, she might need some more coaching and time to hone her social skills. Parents play a vital role in developing this ability.
Developmental psychologist Michael Mintz told Romper that shyness in children starts in babyhood, in the home environment that nurtures their emotional development. If the child is often labeled as "shy," then that's what she will manifest to people unfamiliar with her.
Thus, parents must stop telling people their daughter is the "shy one" because she will believe this label. Parents also need to validate the child's feelings of uneasiness to help her understand her discomfort around other kids instead of concluding that she withdraws because she's quite bashful.
Mintz suggested empathizing with the child's feelings and giving her ideas on what to do, such as waving or smiling if they don't feel like talking or interacting first.
Build your child's confidence and self-esteem
A shy child will often shine when engaging in activities that suit her personality. A less outgoing child will have a better time making friends if she is not too overwhelmed.
So, the parents might forego signing her up for ballet lessons or a sports team where the interaction may exhaust a shy child. Instead, parents must find small but manageable activities, such as a reading program in the library or an arts and crafts session in a community space where the child can focus.
It's important for moms and dads to recognize their child's comfort zone to build their confidence. If she is in intimate groups with focused common interests, she will be more encouraged to talk, play and laugh with other kids.
According to counseling psychologist Molly Owens of Truity, starting small with a one-on-one playdate, for example, will help a shy child break out of her shell. As her confidence builds up, she will have no problem joining other school activities.
Facilitate role-playing
Practice makes perfect, and role-playing can be a valuable tool for a shy kid. Any child will benefit from acting out difficult situations with their parents. So, if the child is anxious around new people, mom or dad may introduce scenarios and practice on her dolls or stuffed animals.
According to clinical social worker Holly Schweitzer Dunn of Findlay Living, role-playing gives kids the words to use or the actions to carry out in actual situations. They need this specific coaching from their parents.
After role-playing, the parent must also dialogue with the child about her experiences and comfort level with the activity, as this is one way to tell if she's learning to regulate her negative emotions or if she's starting to feel secure and trusting of people outside her own family.
Related Article: 5 Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Relatives
