Stay-at-home dads are their children's heroes. Yet ironically and sadly, these "heroes" are receivers of terrible jokes in society.
Jay Deitcher, a stay-at-home dad and a blogger, expressed his disappointment about these "stay-at-home dad jokes," which he described as misogynistic, unoriginal, lame, and boring.
He recalled the numerous times he was bombarded with all these "tired jokes" in his at-home dad journey, like how strangers would stop and feed him "over-the-top compliments" when he was walking with his son in his stroller, telling him how great it was to see a dad so involved with his child, as if fathers were all expected not to be around or involved or be worthless with their children. There were days he would be called Mr. Mom, and other days when his male friends, making plans to hang out, would casually snicker that he might not make it because he would probably need to babysit his kids again.
One of the "most-groan-worthy experiences" was a wisecrack from an older woman friend who "innocently" called him Mrs. Doubtfire. He did not stop himself from rolling his eyes. Her joke may seem harmless and funny to her, but it is a stereotype that reflects oppressive societal norms.
And this is why these stay-at-home dad jokes need to end; they aren't funny anymore.
Why is the joke still there even if no one is laughing anymore?
The world needs to know that there is nothing funny or wrong with men deciding to stay at home and be full-time dads. The world needs to know that these "heroes" are on the rise.
The Pew Research Center revealed that 16 percent of stay-at-home parents in 2012 were fathers, compared to the ten percent in 1989. More so, 21 percent of these fathers stated that their main reason for leaving their job and staying home is to take care of their family and home.
Unfortunately, despite all these, society keeps throwing these jokes because as these "heroes" increase, "the misogynist status quo" is being threatened. According to Jordan Shapiro, Ph.D., an assistant professor at Temple University with a background in archetypal psychology and phenomenology and the author of the book "Father Figure: How to Be a Feminist Dad," it is now becoming more common for men to take on more of the child care and other household responsibilities. Society can no longer justify inequality with "blatant sexism" because the children and the family aren't the women's jobs anymore.
"Therefore, it's safe to assume that the bad jokes, taunts, and insults hurled at stay-at-home dads serve, at least in part, to defend and fortify a system of economic oppression. It's easier to ridicule dads than it is to rethink the entire foundation of global economic production," Shapiro declared.
Moreover, the "man box," created by the rules society has placed upon men, pushes and forces men to put on tough masks in front and with their children. A lot has been misguided by society's teaching that manhood and masculinity have nothing to do with anything feminine, said author, educator, and chief executive officer of A Call to Men, Tony Porter. This includes being nurturing, loving, gentle, caring, patient, and kind to their children, and this robs connection and relationships with them. Many fathers give in to the norms, become tyrants, and miss their opportunities to build genuine bonds with their children and wives, and the worst, the entire burden of parenthood is now given to the mothers.
'You're the stronger one'
The battle may still be tedious and lengthy before these stay-at-home dad jokes die and never see the light of day again, but it does not mean dads should just accept and conform.
Shapiro calls out to all stay-at-home dads in an article for Parents Mag and tells them that whenever they are thrown with these lame and boring jokes, they should remember who the stronger ones are, and those are themselves, to which Porter agrees.
Porter explained that all stay-at-home dads are indeed heroes, not only of their children but of the world because they are promoting and growing healthy, respectful men that the world desperately needs these days and in the future.
To all the stay-at-home dads out there, know you are the stronger, better ones. Take pride that you are with your children 24/7, having experienced all the goodness and victories of your little ones. At the end of the day, it isn't society who will tell you if you are a good father. It will be your children whom you served and loved wholeheartedly and your wife with whom you shared the burden and beauty of parenthood.
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