In celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month, Latinx parents are opening up about how they have decided to end the cycle of toxic masculinity and machismo culture in their own families.
Diana Limongi, 40, and Vannessa Rodriguez, 42, both Latinx mothers, can still remember the "machismo" culture they grew up in. Both were stopped from pursuing something just because they were girls. Both have seen how their brothers were allowed to do everything and how they should be served and respected merely because they are boys. Both were expected to go to college with the course their parents wanted for them, and both were expected to get married, have kids, and stay home after college graduation.
With all their experiences, these mothers have one goal in their family life-to not ever practice toxic masculinity and machismo culture, even if these are already a tradition and "norm" in every Latinx family for generations.
Machismo culture
A term coined in the 1930s, "machismo" is used to describe a "strong sense of masculine pride." Machismo culture is the unbending and suppressing rules that dictate what an individual can or cannot do based on their sex. In Latinx culture, machismo enables a man to be domineering over individuals he perceives as inferior, mostly exerting power over the "lesser sex"-women.
It demands that to be a man or to be masculine is to be tough, to be right, to be the smart one, the loudest one, to be the leader, who must be followed by everyone else.
A certified psychologist and founder of the Center for Men's Excellence in San Diego, California, Dr. Daniel Singley, stated, "Often we'll see, in a traditional heterosexual couple, the wife or girlfriend exhibiting the equal and opposite-what's called 'marianismo.' They're quietly behind the scenes, making things happen without threatening his fragile sense of machismo."
And this is the very thing Limongi and Rodriguez do not want to happen in their family life, much more to be experienced by their children. They, with their husbands, have been firm that they will not expose their kids to the toxic culture they were exposed to when they were kids that have scarred them, which still hurts them even now.
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Something new for the new generation
Limongi, an Ecuadorian mom of two living in Queens, New York, expressed that part of ending this toxic masculinity cycle in her own family is confronting her parents when they say something "machismo" in front of the children. She ensures that she corrects her parents, especially her mom when saying something that is not gender-neutral.
She also gets help from her husband, a Frenchman who grew up allowed to cook with his mother. Their son loves cooking as much as his dad, and they make sure that he does not think of cooking or "anything kitchen" as just for the girls. Her husband is also visible in helping with the household chores, a vital image for their son to learn that household chores are for everyone and not just a "woman thing."
The same goes in the household of the Mexican-American Rodriguez. Diversity is seen in the family. She married a Mexican-American as well, who surprisingly hates machismo culture. Thus, she told Today that her husband wanted things to be different. He wanted things to be their way, which was why they moved away from their families to create their own path that is beneficial to their children's mental and emotional health.
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