How To Raise Strong Resilient Kids? Creating 'Nurturing Routines' Is a Must

Resiliency is a character everyone needs in this day and age, and kids are not exempted. They are the ones who need it more than adults.

Dr. Dana Suskind, professor of surgery and pediatrics at the University of Chicago Medical Center and founder and co-director of the TMW Center for Early Learning + Public Health at the University of Chicago, declared that there has never been a more critical time for parents to encourage their children to become strong and resilient.

As a physician focusing on early brain development, Suskind found one "surprising" component that will surely contribute to an increased resilience at a young age. Parents need to create "nurturing routines."

What are these nurturing routines?

Resilience is defined as the ability to face a challenge, a problem, or a struggle and overcome it, obtaining a measure of growth and strength along the way.

When children are consistently provided with activities in similar ways and times, they learn what to expect. This predictability of routines then creates a feeling of comfort and safety.

A study on the developmental perspectives of Resilience in Children revealed that predictable structures and familiar rituals allow kids to learn how to "constructively manage themselves and their environment." This results in kids being better equipped to successfully traverse the unexpected, a "cornerstone of resiliency." Whatever challenges or uncertainty they face, they will always have the baseline of knowing they will be okay.

These routines can be as simple as brushing their teeth every after meal, a morning routine of sharing their plans for the day, or a midday vegetable snack that promotes a healthy diet. Parents need to think of a nurturing routine that can serve as a "security blanket or worn-out stuffed animal" that can offer children a calm, gentle and loving environment where they feel comfortable to explore their feelings during challenges or setbacks.

Parents will see that as their children begin to do routine activities with less supervision, their independence and confidence will grow.

Tips for creating these routines:

Dr. Suskind, also the author of "Parent Nation: Unlocking Every Child's Potential, Fulfilling Society's Promise," shared the following tips for parents to keep in mind in creating nurturing routines.

1. Encourage conversation during the routine.

Parents should converse and ask questions as the child goes through their routine. Ask what's the next step. Do not try to instruct; instead, help them to be reminded of what the next thing to do is.

Children personalize their parents' communication style as their "private speech." Thus, provide calm, loving prompts and questions throughout the day to support emotional-regulation skills.

2. Explain the 'why' of the routine.

Explaining the reason behind every routine allows the child to learn what is expected of them and promotes the feeling of a positive impact when a routine is completed.

Here's an example from Dr. Suskind, parents can say: "We had so much fun building with our blocks, but it's time to clean up. The big blocks go in the blue bucket. Where do the little blocks go?" You can respond with: "That's right! Let's finish up so we can eat a snack to stay energized the rest of the day after they answer."

Activities as simple as this can help children practice language skills, taking turns, talking, and understanding the significance and the reason behind certain actions.

3. Consistency is key.

Parents need to be patient. Resiliency does not happen overnight, and routines do not become routine when not done repeatedly and with consistency.

It is also true that parenting requires flexibility. There will be extended or difficult days when it will be so hard to stick to a routine, so parents need to be ready with comforting words that will tell their kids that missing the routine for a day is okay and then promise that they will be of help to make sure it will be done the next day. This will give them an expectant heart, a must as they grow old.

4. Never forget to praise and appreciate your kid's effort.

Always praise and compliment the child when they successfully follow a routine without help or with lesser supervision. This will positively push them to get into the habit of doing the routine consistently.