Parenting alone can already be so difficult. And yet, in this day and age of social media, it can be much more challenging as everything can be documented, and parenting fails can quickly go viral.
There are some of these parenting fails that elicit empathy from other parents and can be a source of laughter and "I've been there too" comments. However, there are also those parenting moments that "stings rather than delights."
What can parents do then to protect themselves from being out there on the internet frenzy, especially if they are not the ones doing the sharing but their kids?
Crisis management 101
These postings are not isolated to videos or photos that caught parents doing an actual parenting fail. These parenting fails include those posts and comments by young children and teens venting out online about their parents' mishaps or careers, their relationship with their parents, or their frustrations towards them. Most of the time, this kind can be more embarrassing, as they should be talked about privately instead of divulged publicly.
A digital wellbeing author and educator, Dr. Kristy Goodwin, shared an action plan for parents after a post has gone viral.
1. Lower the temperature.
Parents need to "emotionally decompress" before confronting their kids. They should be calm when they start the conversation, discuss that the post offended them, and give them clear reasons.
2. Ask the child to remove the post.
Remind the children about respect and calmly request that the post be removed. Parents may also need to sit down with their kids and check and change their privacy settings if necessary.
3. Explain why it is crucial to remove the post.
Parents need to explain to their children that they are asking for the post to be deleted, not only because it has hurt them, but more importantly, they do not want to risk that this kind of behavior becomes natural to them and becomes a part of their "digital DNA." Explain that they may not only vent out about their parents but also about their teachers, classmates, friends, or employers and partners in the future. It is unhealthy if it is not stopped.
4. Do not be afraid to seek outside remedies if needed.
If children would not remove the post, parents should not be afraid to contact the tech provider and file a complaint about the post. This can depend on the nature of the post. The law states that if the post is deemed problematic, it should be removed within 48 hours.
Learning moment opportunity
Danielle Miller, author and leading teen educator, is reminding parents that no matter how embarrassing, frustrating, or disappointing their children's posts are, they should always know that the situation is a golden opportunity to teach them a "range of must-have social-media smarts.
1. Do not let emotions rule; take a deep breath before posting.
Children should be taught that emotions are deceiving, and when their feelings are intense, they cannot think rationally and may be able to make decisions they may regret.
Sixteen-year-old Simone (not her real name) recalled when she was only 13 venting on Instagram about her mother, who grounded her. She said that because of her anger, she said the "most awful things." To her horror, the post was used by her father against her mother in court to gain full custody of her. Eventually, things worked out for good; however, no matter what she does now, she wouldn't be able to take away the pain and the threat she caused her mother.
Children should know that it is okay to vent, not on social media, but to the right people and in a safe place.
2. Always ask the golden question: Would I say or do this in the real world?
Parents must always remind their children of this crucial question whenever they plan to post something. Remind them as well that if the answer to the question is no, then it does not have any space online as well. Parents should know that privacy settings also are limited. Anyone can screenshot the post and share it anytime.
3. Do what you preach.
"Teens have incredible radars for inauthenticity. We can't expect them to follow our pause-before-posting advice or plea for discretion if they see us throwing shade at others - or on them - on our own social-media pages," Miller explained.
Related Article: Top 3 Worst Parenting Mistakes to Avoid
