She was living the life with her husband and two children until her husband died, and she was left a widow and mom at a young age. Now she finds a new purpose and a community as she shares her journey and how she went through it, encouraging other widows and mommas along the way.
Julie Thomason and her husband Charles have been together since high school. They were the "real deal high school lovers" who got married and lived "the dream." He was her best friend, the father of their adorable children, and an "all-around" great guy Julie could not imagine living without until she needed to do the impossible and start living and continue loving without him beside her.
Their daughter was just two then, and their son, four weeks old. They were four years into their marriage, and Charles was only 29. He took his very first work trip on that fateful day last year. He got into a car accident and never came back home.
Julie recalled that he was only away from the family for a night, yet it changed everything.
7 Crucial life lessons she learned
After a year of heartbreak, fear, grief, and questions, Julie reaches out to the world - women part of the "widow club," people who lost someone dear to them, or an individual who is generally lost in life, and shares crucial life lessons she has learned in her journey.
1. We can survive our hardest days.
Days can be unpredictable in the journey of grieving. Some days can be much harder, but like the easy days, these harder days will end. The sun sets, and the sun rises tomorrow being new grace, new strength, and new hope. Yet it can never be done alone. Thus, Julie suggested keeping people close and not thinking twice about reaching out to them when needed. That is crucial. Sometimes all it takes is something small to turn one's day, and this can be as simple as a text expressing how you are not feeling okay today.
2. People matter the most.
People must understand that the best investment is investing time with the people they love, building quality relationships, and creating beautiful memories. These will be what matters the most in the end.
3. God is in charge.
Learning to acknowledge and accept that there are things beyond one's control is a big part of healing.
"Faith is important to me and becoming a sudden widow taught me that despite the plans I make, I am not in control. We can all only do what we can each day and from there other variables and factors will affect the outcomes we personally experience," Julie expressed.
4. Joy and deep sadness can coexist.
Grief, like progress, isn't linear. There will be ups and downs "with peaks of joy." Give one's self permission to savor the ride and experience joy and sadness simultaneously. There is darkness, so people can see and experience the significance of light. Just because people are grieving does not mean they should be fully closed off to moments of joy.
5. We just need one true friend.
Having even just one person who is sincere and true enough to give you comfort and peace in those moments of deep anguish is key, whether physically around or a phone call away.
6. Life is urgent.
Live for today! Live in the present because even if this is painful to accept, tomorrow is never promised. In a blink of an eye, life can change.
7. We can do anything we want.
There are no rules on how to grieve. Everyone will have a unique process of handling grief and trauma. That should be respected. Anybody going through a sudden loss of a loved one should be empowered to start moving forward and rebuilding life in whatever way works for them without being judged.
No rules in grief
For Julie, healing came through opening up and sharing her story on social media. It started as a response to her therapist, who suggested that she needed to journal, but the writing was hard having two young kids in tow. Instead, she did an "open online journal," joining conversations online, eventually creating reels on Instagram. She found herself surprised one day that her little reels of vulnerability and honesty have already created a community of widows, non-widows, and mothers who can resonate with her. She then decided to become a full-time content creator.
She shared that she can heal by sharing her story and is amazed by how she can reach out to other people and help them heal.
One year since her husband died, Julie shared a beautiful yet heartbreaking video message for her husband on her Instagram account, "spilledmilkmomma," saying that there were days that she could not move, but she did the impossible. She taught their baby how to walk, crawl and run, and at the same time, taught herself how to walk, crawl, and run in life.
Related Article: How to Comfort a Child Who Lost a Loved One?
