Catherine Bagwell, Ph.D., told Very Well Family that parents love watching their kids make friends while also witnessing their social skills and lives bloom. Seeing the children laughing while playing is one of the things that makes parents' hearts happiest. Science even claims that friendships can boost kids' success in key ways.
While friendship plays an important role in your child's life, parents sometimes encounter friends that they just don't like. Perhaps you see them as someone who jokes offensively and sometimes curses or appears to be a bully. Parents sometimes see those kids as someone who would not bring any good to their child, so they would start hating them.
However, parents wonder what steps should they take to get rid of the hate and question themselves why don't they like that certain friend of their child would also question their reaction; Before parents start to analyze why they don't like their kid's friend, began to acknowledge and accept your own emotions.
Carla Naumburg, Ph.D., LICSW (Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker), a clinical social worker and author of "How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids," among other books, added that what parents go through is normal and there's nothing wrong with having such feelings about your kid's friend/s.
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Parents are concerned about how the behavior will impact kids
Parents eventually take their own actions by identifying the certain characteristic that triggers them. Nicole Beurkens, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist, and founder and director at Horizons Developmental Resource Center in Caledonia, MI told the outlet that the reason why parents don't like that friend is that they are worried about how the friend's behavior will impact their child.
Mostly, school-age kids have behavior that lacks manners which gradually leads to physical aggression hence the parents happen to experience discomfort as they think their child will start copying what they see. Dr. Beurkens noted that what parents feel is normal as kids usually have friends who introduce them to things that may be inappropriate for their age. No one, particularly parents, wants to see their kid taken advantage of or hurt.
However, parents' and kids' emotions are different which means, what parents see as inappropriate may be appropriate for kids. Thus, it's important not to easily assume that you should get rid of that particular friend of your child and rather observe if the relationship is healthy.
Psychology Today suggests to try knowing that friend and see it yourself if they are a bad influence or not. Also, you can discuss things with your child so they are the ones who can tell their friend about the rules in the house or the rules of your parents.
Parents should not choose friends for their kids
Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and author of "The Me, Me, Me Epidemic" told the outlet that despite parent's concerns, they must not decide for their child especially in terms of friends as their child may gain benefit from the friendship you don't really expect. Cindy T. Graham, founder of Brighter Hope Wellness Center added that parents should bear in mind that almost all things do not align with their views, may they be kid's friends or not.
Graham told Huff Post that parents should set aside their own feelings and never allow their emotions to interfere with kids' relationships with their friends as it requires an open heart and mind. What parents can only do is guide them and correct what is wrong.
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