Should parents leave a public place when their kids are disturbing the peace? Where is the line drawn in infringing the rights of others when it comes to kids' behavior and actions?
Parents with young ones often reminisce and long about those moments in their lives when going out to a cafe for a sit-down coffee or a meal was an experience of peace and relaxation.
It comes with parenting that having active kids can mean leisurely indoor outings may not always be a realistic goal. However, sometimes, this does not hinder parents from trying. Maybe the kid will behave better this time right? Unfortunately though, most of the time, it ends in tears.
As Aha! Parenting puts it, parenting is always challenging, yet parenting in public is another level. Having to parent with an audience, not to mention the critical gazes that come along with it, can be a parent's hardest moments.
What makes it worse, and puts more strain on the parents who are just trying their best to have a taste of what has been, is the harsh judgements and criticisms they get from adults who are not with their children and from those who have none at all.
Leave when your kid is 'kicking up'
Kidspot News reported this week of a woman who has "run rampant around her city", criticizing a couple in a restaurant and her very own friend in a cafe and raging how they should have left the place when their child was "kicking up."
This woman, in her frustration, was said to vent out in an online mothers' group. She narrated how she was having dinner in a restaurant with a couple and their baby at another table. The mom just finished feeding the baby and placed him down. The baby wasn't happy about it and just started crying with the noise getting louder and louder.
The parents, according to her, already finished their meal yet they "very slowly" finished their coffee and wine before leaving the restaurant, amidst the escalating cries of their child and glare of the people turning their way.
The woman continued telling another story, and this time it is about her friend, who she was in a cafe with recently. Her friend brought along her toddler who started having tantrums. She then suggested that she was almost done and will be happy to just go. However, her friend insisted on staying, telling her that they paid for the food and were very much "entitled" to stay.
She said her friend wasn't "budging" at all, so in shame and frustration, she took the toddler outside while her friend enjoyed finishing her cake.
The woman then concluded her rant, asking why do people do this, and declaring that it is "very unfair" to everyone in the restaurant.
Read Also: How to Handle Tantrums in Public
'Don't avoid taking the kids out'
The post created quite a stir as comments and reactions differed, as much like parenting approaches differ in real life.
One comment read, "Unless you've booked the restaurant to yourself, I don't see how you think you're entitled to eat there noise free."
Another added that expecting quiet in a busy cafe or restaurant is just "pretty unrealistic," while another stated that there is no need to abandon lunch or dinner just because the baby is crying. Babies do cry, and if there were two of them, they should have taken turns calming the baby down.
However, it seems that a lot agreed with the woman's frustration proclaiming that a tantrum can actually ruin everyone's experience, and parents are responsible to address it.
There were comments expressing frustration over parents who just sit there while their babies are bawling hysterically. Some were asking how can the parents just sit and listen? But others were direct to call out the parents and describe them as "selfish," and advising that on those moments, parents should just "leave."
David Kates, in an article he wrote for the National Post, said that as a dad, he is a firm believer that parents can and should be able to take their young ones to restaurants. However, parents need to respect "a host of unwritten rules" that are for their good as much as for the kids and everyone around.
The unwritten rules are - timing should be everything, choose an appropriate restaurant, put one's self in other people's shoes, and be attentive to your kids' needs, yet Kates stressed to never avoid taking the kids out, for parents' insanity, and for kids' social developmental skills.
Related Article: Unapologetic Parenting: Should Children's Age-Appropriate Outbursts Be Acceptable In Public Places?
