Pregnancy loss is a deeply personal and traumatic experience for many women and couples. Experiencing a pregnancy loss, such as a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy, can be challenging, especially when it happens to someone you know. You may feel unsure of how to approach the situation or be worried about saying something inappropriate.
Miscarriage, also known as "early pregnancy loss," occurs when a pregnancy is lost before reaching 20 weeks.
According to March of Dimes, the statistics show that about 10 to 20 out of 100 pregnancies, or 10 to 20 percent, result in miscarriage, with the majority of cases, 8 out of 10, or 80 percent, occurring during the first trimester before the 12th week of pregnancy.
Despite how common it is, the subject remains taboo in many societies, and people often don't know how to support someone who's experienced it.
In this article, we'll discuss how to be there for someone who's had a miscarriage and navigate this delicate situation.
How To Be There for Someone Who's Had a Miscarriage
- Acknowledge the Loss
As recommended by TODAY, the first step in supporting someone who's had a miscarriage is acknowledging their loss. It is essential to understand that even if the pregnancy wasn't far along, the loss is still significant. It is not uncommon for people to downplay the significance of a miscarriage, which can be incredibly hurtful to someone who's experienced it.
It is important to validate the person's emotions and let them know it's okay to grieve. This simple gesture can mean the world to someone who's struggling to come to terms with their loss.
- Listen
One of the most important things you can do when supporting someone who's had a miscarriage is to listen. Everyone processes grief differently, and it's crucial to let the person express their emotions in their own way. Give them the assurance that you will always be there for them and that they can come to you with any concerns or questions they may have.
It's also important to remember that grief is a process, and there's no timeline for someone to "get over" a miscarriage. It's common for people to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety, for weeks, months, or even years after the loss.
- Be Empathetic
Empathy is crucial when supporting someone who's had a miscarriage. It's important to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand what they're going through. Avoid minimizing their feelings or offering unsolicited advice.
It's also essential to avoid making assumptions about how the person should be feeling or what they should do. For example, saying something like, "Well, at least you can try again," may come across as insensitive and dismissive.
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- Offer Practical Support
According to The Bump, when someone has had a miscarriage, they may be physically and emotionally exhausted. Practical support can be a lifesaver during this time. You can offer to cook meals, run errands, or help with household chores.
It's also important to remember that pregnancy loss can be a traumatic experience. If the person is struggling to cope, offer to help them find a support group or therapist specializing in grief counseling.
- Avoid Triggers
It's important to be mindful of potential triggers when supporting someone who's had a miscarriage. This could include things like baby showers, pregnancy announcements, or even just seeing pregnant women on the street.
While you can't control every situation, you can be mindful of potential triggers and avoid them when possible. You can also ask the person what triggers they'd like you to avoid.
- Offer a Thoughtful Gesture
As recommended by the Tommy's Organization, one way to show support for someone who has experienced a pregnancy loss is by sending them a thoughtful gift or flowers. This gesture can show them that you are thinking of them and that you care about their well-being.
When choosing a gift, consider something that would bring them comfort or joy during this difficult time. Flowers are another popular option. If you are unsure of what to choose, consider asking a close family member or friend if there is anything specific they think would be appreciated.
Miscarriage is a heartbreaking experience that can be difficult to navigate. However, don't be afraid to check in with them regularly and let them know that you are there for them whenever they need you. With your support and understanding, they will feel less alone in their grief and be better equipped to navigate the healing process.
While nothing can take away the pain of losing a pregnancy, your kindness and support can make a significant difference and help them find comfort and healing.
