Tiger Parenting: Understanding This Parenting Style and Its Lasting Impacts on Children

Tiger Parenting: Understanding This Parenting Style and Its Lasting Impacts on Children
Tiger parenting is often associated with an "authoritative" style, in contrast to a more permissive approach, which is a more lenient Western parenting. FRANCK FIFE/AFP via Getty Image

Tiger parents typically impose strict goals on their children, limiting their autonomy and discouraging the expression of their desires and interests.

Thus, disciplinary methods employed in tiger parenting can have detrimental effects on a child's mental health, such as shame, guilt, or withdrawal of affection.

This may manifest in low self-esteem, increased self-harm tendencies, emotional dysregulation, and a heightened risk of substance use and depression.

History of Tiger Parenting Style

Amy Chua coined the term "tiger parenting" in her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, where she, as a Yale University professor and mother of two, discusses a parenting style that combines both positive and negative approaches.

This method, prevalent in Chinese culture and often associated with mothers as "tiger moms," integrates Confucian ideology, emphasizing unconditional obedience and respect from children towards their parents.

Chua herself aligns with this philosophy, setting ambitious academic and achievement goals for her daughters.

In her book, she characterizes her parenting style as a fusion of Confucian principles and traditional Chinese culture, incorporating strict techniques.

Chua attributes her daughters' exceptional academic and musical achievements to this approach, but she is careful to note that it may not be suitable for all families.

Integral to tiger parenting is the financial capacity to provide unlimited tutoring, material resources, and exposure to various settings and experiences aimed at maximizing children's performance.

Typically, these opportunities are more accessible to individuals in higher socioeconomic groups.

Tiger Parenting's Impact on Children

Research suggests that the mental health impact of tiger parenting includes elevated levels of stress, anxiety, and depression in children.

Adverse outcomes encompass low self-esteem, self-harm tendencies, emotional dysregulation, increased susceptibility to substance use, depression, anxiety disorders, impaired decision-making skills, a sense of obligation to family, perfectionism, diminished creativity, and reduced intrinsic motivation.

While some argue that tiger parenting yields benefits such as improved academic performance, a strong work ethic, goal orientation, heightened productivity, intrinsic responsibility, and financial stability, critics contend that it prioritizes success at the expense of children's well-being.

Alternatives to tiger parenting involve adopting more collaborative and supportive approaches, such as gentle parenting, emphasizing two-way communication, compassion, and encouragement.

To steer clear of tiger parenting, parents are advised to support their children when mistakes occur, reconsider their disciplinary methods by incorporating empathy and compassion, invest time in understanding their children, respect their privacy, foster independence, provide choices, validate their emotions, acknowledge achievements at their individual levels, and seek professional help if needed.

Studies indicate that tiger parenting can lead to heightened levels of anxiety and depression in children.

Contrary to expectations, this parenting style doesn't consistently result in higher GPA scores.

Some offspring of tiger parents resist the pressure to achieve at a high level, exhibiting rebellious behavior due to limited opportunities for socialization and non-academic activities that aren't strictly goal-oriented.

Individuals who have undergone tiger parenting in their childhood may find therapy beneficial to address issues like depression, anxiety, or anger, and to prevent perpetuating negative parenting patterns with their own children.

Ultimately, transforming the strict tiger parenting model involves adapting parenting beliefs to prioritize open communication, mutual understanding, shared goals, and unconditional love for each child's unique individuality.

It's crucial for parents to consider revising a rigid tiger parenting approach.

Being open to adjusting parenting beliefs is essential, recognizing the importance of children feeling heard, understood, sharing common goals, and being loved for their individuality.

By fostering such an environment, parent-child relationships can evolve positively, strengthening bonds for the future.

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