Navigating the teenage years is often described as a rollercoaster ride for parents, especially for those navigating this journey in the midst of divorce or separation.
With puberty, hormones, high school dynamics, and the burgeoning quest for independence all converging, each day can feel like a new challenge in a household with a teenager. It's a time when even the smallest issues can escalate into battles.
As a parent, the desire to nurture and guide your child remains unchanged, but it's crucial to recognize that your relationship must evolve alongside their growth.
These formative years in their lives are pivotal when it comes to shaping their own identity in this world. Despite being a big kid, unwavering support and guidance from parents and elders can also be transformative for their future.
With that, here are a few strategies for parenting teens and tweens to maintain a healthy and positive parent-child relationship with them.
7 Strategies for Cultivating Positive Relationships With Your Teens
1. Encourage Flexibility in Gender Roles and Behavior
Teens and tweens often face pressure to conform to societal expectations regarding gender roles and behaviors, both from peers and sometimes within their families. Early to mid-adolescence is marked by a strong adherence to traditional gender norms, particularly among boys.
Discussing these pressures with your teen and encouraging them to reflect on their choices, such as friendships and activities, can help them navigate societal expectations. Addressing overly aggressive or controlling behavior, which can stem from rigid gender expectations, is crucial in promoting a healthier outlook.
2. Adopt an Authoritative, Not Authoritarian Parenting Style
Being authoritative and authoritarian in your relationship can make a difference. Strive for an authoritative parenting approach, characterized by a balance of warmth and firmness. Establish clear expectations and standards for behavior while consistently enforcing boundaries.
Creating an atmosphere of acceptance and allowing your teen's opinions and individuality to flourish fosters psychological autonomy. This style promotes mutual respect and understanding, empowering teens to develop their identity while navigating adolescence under supportive parental guidance.
3. Promote Honest and Open Conversations
Open discussions about dating and sexuality can significantly impact communication between parents and teens. Research indicates that transparent communication correlates with fewer instances of adolescent sexual activity.
Engaging in deeper conversations that include sharing personal attitudes and values about sexuality, offering advice, and highlighting the potential consequences of early sexual encounters can guide adolescents toward informed and responsible choices.
4. Engage in Quality Time Together
As children transition into adolescence, spending meaningful time with parents can sometimes lose its appeal. However, fostering a strong family bond remains crucial for a teenager's well-being and support system.
Activities recommended by WCSAP, such as family meals without distractions, collaborative chores, game nights, or volunteering together, can create opportunities for teens to feel connected and comfortable confiding in their parents during the challenges of adolescence.
5. Lead by Example
While perfection isn't required, being a positive role model for teenagers is invaluable. Be mindful of your behaviors, such as alcohol consumption and smoking, as teens often emulate what they observe at home, considering it acceptable conduct.
6. Establish Clear Boundaries
Despite having a young adult in the household, parents remain the primary authority figures responsible for setting boundaries. The National Institute on Drug Abuse emphasizes the importance of calmly and assertively establishing limits for teens. Failing to set boundaries can result in adolescents entering adulthood with a skewed perception of excessive freedom.
7. Demonstrate Care and Support
Expressing love and support is crucial for teens navigating their tumultuous years. Small gestures like preparing a special meal or leaving notes "just because" can make a significant impact. When conflicts arise, take the initiative to apologize and reaffirm your unconditional love. Promote the strength of the family unit and encourage your teen's active participation in fostering a nurturing environment.
